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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Where The Wild Things Are

The first signpost as you exit the Jackson Hole airport reads, "The Last of the Old West." In some ways, perhaps, though in other ways, Wyoming is now just as modern as the rest of the United States. I don't have to worry about being attacked by American Indians as we drive along the empty two-lane highway, which probably would have been a concern about 175 years ago. I don't have to worry about finding my next meal, as restaurants are plentiful in Jackson Hole, and grocery stores and snack bars are at every junction in Yellowstone National Park.

But in other ways, the signpost is absolutely correct. When we think of the "Old West" we think of the Wild West-- cowboys, saloons, brothels, shoot-outs in the street-- but the Wild West also referred to something simpler than what was back east. The Wild West was a land untamed by the civilizing effects of skyscrapers and factories, of millions of people crammed together into tenements abiding by every law on the book. The Wild West was land and sky as far the eye could see, "where the deer and the antelope play, where seldom is heard a discouraging word." A man (or woman, in some cases) could really make his own way there. And in a lot ways you get that feeling today.

Wyoming seems to be a land struggling between its wildness and its civility. On the one hand, Yellowstone National Park has geographic forms as old as the Earth itself, and is home to tons of wildlife. On the other hand, Yellowstone National Park has rules. These rules are necessary to keep us safe (especially the ones about walking on the hydrothermal features), but it does make one long for the days when you could fish without a fishing license, just because you needed dinner.

The theme of wildness versus civility ran throughout my visit to Wyoming. My mom and I spent the first day of our trip in Yellowstone National Park. We saw Old Faithful spout water high into the air, other geysers, mudpots, deep blue springs, bison, elk, the Old Faithful Inn (which Disney's Wilderness Lodge is clearly modeled after), and running rivers set at the base of mountains. It was gorgeous. The next day we went the opposite direction to the town of Jackson Hole. Here, we saw what you might see in any small, touristy town-- shops, restaurants, a playhouse, a famous hotel. A Dairy Queen welcomed us as we rounded the bend into the city proper, as if to say, "Hello, you're in America!"

Of course, on the way into the town we passed the National Elk Refuge, a few moose, and a herd of bison. You see? Wildness versus civility.



(There are bison out there)

The second night we were there we were fortunate enough to see a horse whisperer. For those of you who might not know (I didn't), a horse whisperer takes a never-been-saddled, never-been-ridden horse and in the course of an hour and a half or so, saddles and (sometimes) rides the wild creature. The colt that the horse whisperer, Grant, was training that night was called Bubba, was three years old, and was incredibly skittish. You could see the fear in his eyes as he walked into the ring. But as the hour passed, something came over him. Trust, domestication, a developing friendship-- these things passed through his eyes and some of his wildness went out of him. Of course, he bucked like no one's business when he was first saddled, and I honestly feared for Grant's life, but by the end of the hour and a half he stood placidly with his saddle in the middle of the ring, beginning to make a herd with Grant and Grant's horse, Freckles. But he was still wild enough that Grant didn't try to ride him that night. But in a few more days, a few more hours, the horse would be... well, civilized.




A bit like Freckles, Bubba, too, would be Grant's friend.


But what really hit home the theme was visiting the National Museum of Wildlife Art with my parents on our last day. They had a special exhibit on display: The Art of Maurice Sendek, author of Where The Wild Things Are. The exhibit (the entire museum, actually) was spectacular. Within children, Maurice Sendek sees our human capacity for wildness, but tamed by society and our consciousness of our humanity. But I guess humanity is a two-way street: empathy and understanding, coupled with a deep desire to unleash our own inner animal. Sendek's artwork was inspiring, with bears in jackets, lions doing ballet, while at the same time these animals chased cats, ate everything, and humans themselves sometimes turned animalistic in some of the drawings and stories. Animals, like humans, could be helpful or villainous, wild or civilized. Just like Wyoming. Just like all of us.

One other picture depicted two boys looking into the tiger cage at the menagerie at the tower of London. As we, the viewers, watch the boys and the tiger in the cage, we almost fail to notice, until the last second, a second tiger peering out of the shadows directly into our eyes. As the museum plaque said, the picture makes us question our civility and our wildness. What are we when we look at wild animals, whether caged in zoos or roaming free in our National Parks?

Overall, a much more thought-provoking trip than I had anticipated.


(All photos by me; if you wish to reproduce any of them please do so with a credit and a link)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

First Day of (No) Classes

For students at William and Mary, today is the first day of classes. Over the past week the freshman have moved in, yellow Orientation Aid shirts have been spotted all over campus and CW, the parking lots have filled up, and Confusion Corner has gotten more confusing. Today, it all culminates (or culminated, for the poor freshmen with 8:00 AMs) with the start of classes. Syllabi will be handed out, people will add and drop classes, last minute textbooks will be bought, lunch routines will be established, and people will fill up huge mugs of coffee at the Daily Grind, before settling in for hours of reading (yes, already).

For me, it's just another day. In fact, I'm not even in Williamsburg, but instead sitting in an airport waiting for a flight to Wyoming. Just because I can. (Although, to be fair, I do have two books for my thesis with me-- The Narrative of the Life of Mrs. Charlotte Charke and The Theatre in Colonial America).

It's such an odd feeling. Even last year I had classes, although I was no longer an undergrad. I was tied to Williamsburg, bound in the steady rhythm of a semester. Now, the end of August has arrived and nothing has changed. I still have the same tasks ahead of me. No syllabi, no grades, no hoards of friends coming back... if anything, they've all left due to either undergrad graduation or matriculation to a Ph.D program. Or both. My life hasn't changed at all, materially speaking.

But having no classes does offer freedom beyond anything I've ever experienced. I'm going to Wyoming today, for goodness sake! To see Yellowstone, just because I want to! Autumn hasn't offered such freedom since the beginning of high school! So, while I'm a little nostalgic and at times view the freshman with envy (how nice to know what you'll be doing for the next four years! I barely have the next four months sorted out!), I'm also kind of excited. What possibilities life offers! I can do anything (except for perhaps be a mathematician or a physicist). As they say in Aida, "Fortune favors the free!... It's in ourselves to rise or fall!"

Oh hello, optimism. Good of you to join us again.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thesis-Like Musings

I've been giving my thesis a lot of thought lately. I've read several more books, followed a few new leads, and have completely re-evaluated what I thought I was going to write about. I mean, it's still about 18th-century theatre, but I've shifted the focus in a way which I feel will be both more original and more analytical. This means that things have fallen into place a little. I know what I want my chapters to include, I think I know roughly how long I want each to be, and I just have a few more books to plough through before I can really start writing. I think I've finally figured out that I simply don't have time to read the nearly 100 books that I thought I would need to read in order to completely, fully, know my subject. Reading ten or twelve seminal books or chapters of books, a few newer studies and articles, plus going through the newspaper database will simply have to be enough. Everytime I read a book I check the bibliography for something useful, and usually I come up with five or six new books to read. But I just don't have time for that if I'm planning on actually writing anything. All of which is to say, I need a few more weeks of super intense reading, then a few weeks of super intense writing, and I think I'll have a thesis. Or at least a rough draft.

Easier said than done, probably, especially with starting a new job soon, but it's feasible. And it's all the more feasible after my breakthrough: I know what I want to actually write about. I feel slightly more excited now about thesis-ing than I have in a long while.

The thing now is, I'm trying to write a new introduction-- a new prospectus, really-- and I'm having difficulties getting it started. Which is why I'm procrastinating by writing a blogpost, I suppose. I keep wondering, Should I keep the opening two paragraphs of my old introduction? Should I change them? Should I move my former last paragraph to the front? Should I find a new opening anecdote? How do I write a history paper again? Where's the button to make a footnote? Ahh yes, I think it's really thesis time.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Love in Acrylics

Remember when I told you I was working on a painting? Well, here it is! I painted this! It's based off of a design from Sticks Furniture, a brand which I really love and really wish I could afford in large quantities. A houseful, for example. But since I can't, here is a homemade slice of Sticks, intended to inspire love, hope, and creativity.


(Photo by me, if you wish to reproduce this picture, please do so with a credit and link)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Sun and Sand(erling)

When I downloaded my pictures this evening, my Adobe Photoshop informed me that I had 494 new items. That means that at the beach Zan and I (and a little bit of Lys and Justin, too) took FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR pictures on my camera alone.

That's a lot of pictures. Zan took most of them on our last day at the beach. They are largely made up of pictures of me running in the waves and looking dubiously at the camera, in addition to all of the ones he took of flying seagulls. Plus all of the mini-golf photos. Boy, do I love mini-golf.

All in all, a relaxing and much-needed beach week. I feel a little bruised by this summer, and my heart still hurts from all of the loss. I don't imagine that that will go away soon. But with a sunset over the sound at the Spaniards house, hours spent laying on the beach with a good book and new friends, 'family' dinners with all thirteen of us gathered around the table, and falling asleep at night with the sound of the ocean in my ears, I felt my world-view beginning to switch back to my usual optimism and positivity about life.




(Photo by me, if you wish to reproduce this picture, please do so with a credit and a link)

Friday, August 6, 2010

The World Made Round

It's time for Out of Africa again. I draw strength from it, both the film and the book. Isak Dinesen (Karen Von Blixen) lived through so much, both good and bad, yet still maintained a beautiful outlook on life and humanity. Today, I tried to read a little from a book for my thesis, but I'm too distracted right now by everything that is going on. My heart hurts. I needed something quiet, something that would both allow me to reflect and allow me to escape.

I'm working on a new painting. It's colorful, with trees and peaceful looking hills and a little house with a red roof nestled in there by the lake. The sun is setting and the sky is purple and pink and yellow. Above I have little boxes with pictures of flowers, leaves, and shooting stars, and the top and bottom are lined with the words "Go Out For Adventure, Come Home For Love." When it's finished I might take a picture of it to show you all.

I also made a Shepherd's Pie. Cooking was nice.

In Out of Africa, Karen says, "Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the world was made round so we would not see too far down the road." That quote has always resonated with me, especially in times like this, when everyday seems to bring a fresh hurt. The road is full of both good and bad, but maybe it really is best if we do not know what is coming, so we can fully feel the joy of the good, and not live each day dreading the bad. It would be nice, though, to have something other than death, pain, and wounded feelings on the path in front of me.

One other thing from Out of Africa that also really sticks with me is Farah's reaction to a lion attack that happened while he and Karen were traveling. He said, after they fought off the lion, who still managed to kill an ox and almost killed Karen, "Msabu's bleeding. She does not have this ox. This lion is hungry. He does not have this ox. This wagon is heavy. It does not have this ox. God is happy, Msabu. He plays with us." It is the best way to think about misfortunes and heartaches that I have ever heard.

I think Farah would have been a wonderful and wise person to know. I would recommend the books Out of Africa and Shadows on the Grass to anyone wanting both a lovely memoir and timeless wisdom. They are quiet tomes of strength and beauty, joy and sorrow.