Kittens!

I totally forgot to mention the best part of last week-- kittens! Zan's sister, Lys, found three kittens in the barn! They are so small they fit in my shoe. They all still have blue eyes, they can't yet retract their claws, and they don't always land on their feet. They are so adorable.



Other good parts about the last week include a beautiful graduation necklace from my sister-in-law, complete with the word of the year ("Believe"), Guinness Stout Ice Cream, working in the costume shop, finishing hand-sewing feather boas onto a ruffly dress for the masque in The Tempest, finishing sewing flowers onto another ruffly dress (such a sense of accomplishment), having my on-sale corset arrive and having it *mostly* fit (I knew I ordered a bit small, but the price was right!), visiting my parents in their new condo, and eating beignets. More on this weekend to come in another post soon!

All the Possibility and Promise

I'm a flurry of stories and emotions. Let's start with the end of last week and this weekend, I suppose. I had my first day of my internship on Friday, and it went really well! I took a brief tour of the playhouse, sat in on a bit of rehearsal, and started organizing a huge pile of papers, from Shakespearean Music and Dance to scene studies. Saturday I woke up with a full-blown cold, but I wasn't going to let that stop me! I got up, dressed as a pirate (well, I actually looked like a pirate genie-- rub me on a boat!), breakfasted with Katie, Cass, and Johnny (who made the breakfast), and then we were off to the Virginia Renaissance Faire! It was a really nice day; we had fish and chips for lunch, cider at the tavern, walked around to the different vendors, joked about the Rapture, Cass got to see her friends, and overall we had an absolutely lovely day. The weather wasn't even too hot! Other than the head cold, it was perfect. We even got sushi for dinner! I slept in on Sunday until forever, bought Advil Cold & Sinus, then headed over to Zan's! Zan was in town for his mom's graduation! We had a big party in honor of Lydia, which was really fun, and even had a bonfire and made s'mores. Tons of good food and good company and sitting out on the porch in the evening air. Monday really felt like a continuation of the weekend-- I had my internship in the morning, but got off work at 1:00 and headed out to Zan's. We watched Doctor Who (the episode by Neil Gaiman!) and hung out with Lys and Zach, and had a big dinner all together before John headed back to D.C. Then we ended the evening once more on the porch in the now summer-like air, with Zach playing us music, June bugs flying around, and lightening bugs making the pasture sparkle. It was like a dream.

Today I finished organizing papers, and began hand-sewing work in the costume shop at the ASC. I also finished my umpteenth re-read of Heaven to Betsy, part of the Betsy-Tacy series I love so much. In Heaven to Betsy, Betsy moves from Hill Street to High Street (and is so homesick at first) and starts to cope with a new school, a new group of friends, and new traditions-- and she ends up loving it! It gave me a bit of encouragement for my move(s). Yes, I may be horribly homesick and stressed at first, but look at all the fun to be had! Look at all of the possibilities of life! Lately, I've been feeling very young. Sometimes in a good way: everything is out there! My life is before me and I can choose it all! And sometimes in a bad way: like I'm in an awkward phase, that I'm transitioning from young adulthood to actual adulthood. Sometimes I feel so self-conscious, or like I don't know anything at all, that I'm too stupid and dull to do anything with all of those possibilities before me. That I could change the world, that perhaps I could change the way people see themselves and the world they live in, even in a small way, but that I probably won't with my obtuseness. Sigh.

Fits and starts, and I know it will all work out in the end, and I know that I'm smart and capable deep down, but my, my isn't this summer stressful so far? But fun, too... old friends nearby again, new friends to be made, Ren Faire, and who knew I could be so proficient with hand-sewing?!

A Short Little Life Update

So after I graduated, I packed up my things and moved to Staunton! So here I am! I've been here for all of four days now. I have my room set up and I've gone to the grocery store. I've had dinners with friends, and gone out for drinks with other friends. I've been so thankful to have Katie living in the same building; a friendly face has been very nice. I dyed my hair red, but it's so dark you can barely tell, except in the sunlight when it shines with a satisfying auburn glow. I saw As You Like It last night with Lys, Zach, and Lydia. I saw the beginning of Pirates of the Caribbean 4 but left since it was a free movie and I was sleepy/not feeling well/starting my internship this morning. I spent today at the ASC, first sitting in on a rehearsal, then organizing printed scenes for education purposes. I get to finish that task on Monday. It's nice that they have things for me to do; I feel useful.

So five days after leaving Williamsburg? Well, I'm a little homesick, but mostly so far so good.

Another Day, Another Destiny

I graduated yesterday! I am officially a Master! You may now call me Master, thank you very much (though I'll still respond to Ms. or even Abigail). It's so odd, being a graduate of William and Mary twice over. Two years ago as I received my B.A., and I knew I was going to start the M.A. program, what happened yesterday seemed so far away. To think, I didn't even know who David Douglass was then! I certainly hadn't heard of the Hallams, the London Company of Comedians, or the American Company! Theater in Jamaica and the colonies? Who would've thought!? I've come so far. And I had never heard of the PhD program at UW that I'm going to be starting in the fall. Two years ago Seattle wasn't even on the radar of possible places I might one day live. Life does take strange turns.

And now, I'm done with Williamsburg. The house is cleaned, my clothes are packed. I bought non-perishables from Trader Joe's to take with me, since there isn't a Trader Joe's anywhere near where I'll be living this summer. Hopefully Zan will be kind enough to re-stock my Jaipur Vegetable supplies when he visits. I almost cried today, packing. I probably will cry when the time comes for me to actually leave. I'm so nostalgic, all the time. Five years of memories in this house, six plus years of memories in Williamsburg. For goodness sake, I played with a hoop and stick on Duke of Gloucester Street when I was but a wee lass of eight!

(Me and Thomas Jefferson; yeah, we're cool)

I know I'll be back here. I'll visit during this summer, live here for another week or two in August, perhaps. I'll come back for Christmas break, maybe spring break. I might need to do research here for my dissertation (though, who knows what time will bring).

But this is it, really. The end of an era. For six years I've been a student here, and now... I'm not. Tomorrow I begin my new life, first as a dramaturgy intern, then as a PhD student in a brand new big city on the West Coast. It's scary and stressful, but I'm excited. As Zan said last night, we may not know what will happen but he thinks it will be great. We're starting out on the rest of our lives now. Here I am, on the road to new experiences. Out there live new friends waiting to be made, and a million adventures just waiting to happen!

(Me and Zan, off to start our lives in the Great World!)

(Also, today was my grandpa's memorial service, but being in New Mexico, half a country away, the day after graduation and the day before I move, I couldn't attend. But he has been in my thoughts and prayers all day. Last time I saw Dzadek he told me I should drop everything in life and run off and join an acting troupe and be a vagabond. My friend Mike pointed out that by moving to Staunton to work for the ASC I'm actually doing exactly what my dzadek wanted. It's a nice thought-- the day of his memorial I packed up all of my things to run off and join an acting troupe, just as he would have wanted.)

Laughter on the Wind

Stanley Wilczenski
December 4th, 1920- May 13th, 2011

Maybe some misty day you'll waken to find me gone
And far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn
You'll wonder if I'm happy there, a little more than I've been
And the answer will come back to you like laughter on the wind

I'm really not sure what to say, except that my grandpa died last night. He was ninety years old, which is pretty old, and he got pneumonia. He hasn't been well-- really well-- in years. He had a stroke when I was six or so, and even though he gained back all of his mental capacity, it took most of his eyesight, his balance, and over the years his hearing has gotten progressively worse and worse. Still, he was always so optimistic whenever I saw him. He was one of the most active people in his assisted living home, despite his inability to walk really. He went to the exercise room and lifted weights and used the recumbent bike. He did exercises on the computer to keep his mental facilities sharp, and the doctor there said he had the record scores on all the games. He was funny, too.

I called him Dzadek, which is Polish for grandpa. He was born in the United States, but his parents were off-the-boat Polish, and his older sister was born in Poland. Dzadek fought in World War II and was stationed in Casablanca, Morocco. After I saw the movie Casablanca he got out some of the coins he had saved from his time there during the war, and when I started taking French classes he spoke with me what little French he remembered. When I was little, before his stroke, he used to play all sorts of games with me-- hide and seek, tag, anything at all. He had so much energy. After his stroke, he and my grandma would play boardgames with me like nobody's business. I played more Old Maid, Aggravation, Go Fish, and so many others. He and my grandma (but especially my Dzadek) would let me have ice cream whenever I asked. Dzadek also made the best pies. It may seem odd that Dzadek made the pies and not Grandma, but he did (Grandma, however, makes the best roast in the whole world). I loved going to Grandma and Dzadek's house. When we moved to Virginia, they moved out to New Mexico to be closer to my mom's sister and her kids, so for years now I haven't gotten to see as much of Grandma and Dzadek, due to distance constraints. But whenever I would go Dzadek's face would always light up when he saw me and whenever I would hug him and tell him I loved him he would always say, "Oh Abigail, I love you so much. You have no idea. Come visit again soon!" I knew he really, really loved me and I really, really loved him.

I'm hoping that where ever he is now he can hear again. His inability to hear well for the past fifteen or twenty years was always so frustrating to him. And I'm hoping he can see well again, too, and move about more easily, perhaps floating on the air, if that's a thing there, and that he knows how much we all love him and how much we miss him.

my undissembling Heart

There is one thing at which the 18th century will always soundly beat the 21st: the art of writing love letters. Last week in the archives I stumbled upon the Augustine Smith Papers, and seeing in the collection description that he wrote to Alice Page I felt that the letters might contain something of interest to those of us researching 18th century female education. What I found inside were some of the most eloquent letters of love that I've ever had the privilege to read. Here are some of the most beautiful bits:

"Hesitation, doubt, and anxiety have possessed my aching bosom ever since it was conscious of the interest you had established in my Heart. I am a man but little prone to flatter on any occasion, but to the Woman to whom I wish to devote my undissembling Heart I wou'd as soon offer a poison draught as one single sentence that was not marked by candour and sincerity. Connections commencing in fraud and dissimulation, I conceive, must end in hatred & contempt. -- I love you Miss Page!-- I have loved you from my first acquaintance with you. And had Fortune enabled me to offer you a competancy of Wealth my faithful Heart had long ago been opened to you (July 2nd, 1791)."

"You talked of gratitude, esteem, and friendship-- my dear Girl!... It is your whole Heart, your Mind, your Soul, your entire self that must make me happy... if you cannot love me in the same unrestrained manner that I do you, speak openly, candidly, & I will esteem you, but persecute you no further-- I have yet some resolution (1791)."

"Place implicit confidence in my undisguised Heart-- it has selected you from the World, & I feel it can never decieve you-- shall I repeat that I am yours most faithfully, Augustine Smith (1792)"

Alice Page and Augustine Smith were married in 1793; it was a 'mutual attachment'. John Page, Alice's father, wrote to Augustine Smith in response to his asking for her hand in marriage, "She is capable of judging for herself." And she chose him, poor as he was! Such a lovely love story. And I didn't even get to the letters where he talks about how one day he went down to their favorite spot by the river (near the windmill, where they read to each other) to wait for her arrival... sigh. These letters really made me positively giddy.

(The first courtship letter; held at Swem Special Collections at the College of William and Mary
Alice has told him he must only expect friendship, but it soon turns to love)

Today I finished working for Sarah as a research assistant-- no more long hours of microfilm, no more court records, no more poking through the archives. At least, not until I start my own dissertation. But this job has been really fantastic, and I've learned how to find and use primary sources that I might not have otherwise considering looking into, so I can truly say that this year has been spent building important research skills.

Cinco de Mayo Recap

It's been five days and I totally forgot to tell you all about the best thing ever on Cinco de Mayo!!! Now, of course, being cliched and all that, Zan and I decided to go out to get Mexican food on May 5th. Real original, I know, but I'm down with any excuse to go get some Burritos Carnitas and a margarita. Tom had to work, so he couldn't come, but Annie got off work at six and said she would meet us at the restaurant. Around 5:30 Zan and I drove up to an already packed La Tolteca, but managed to find a parking spot and get a table. Here's where it gets good:

On the board outside, it said their Cinco de Mayo special was a $4.99 lime margarita on the rocks "must be in a cactus glass." Ok, fine. I'm not picky about the kind of glass I get my margarita in. Once inside, however, the wording was changed to "cactus glass included." Included??? So after ordering our first round, I asked the waitress, "Do we get to keep--" to which she responded, "Yes." We got to keep the cactus glasses. Between the three of us, Zan, Annie, and I managed to walk away with a set of five custom 'painted' cactus glasses from La Tolteca. That's a set right there!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am now the proud owner of a set of Cactus Glasses. Happy (very belated) Cinco de Mayo!!!

Gotta find my corner of the sky

This past weekend Zan and I attended the Waynesboro Film Festival where his short film, "The Quiet Zone," screened as one of the finalists. He always does such fantastic work. The festival was small, but fun, and we met some cool filmmakers. After the screenings, the two of us headed to Staunton so I could pay for my sublet and get a key to the house (it's really happening!).

A week from today I'm leaving the place that I've called home for the last six years. I almost can't fathom it. Of course, for the summer I'm not going far, just a hop, skip, and a jump away, really, but it signifies the start of so much more. And there's so much more to do before I move, anyway. Packing, finishing the packet that should have been done two days ago, saying my good-byes... and more to be done once I do move. Figuring out where I fit in at this new place, and-- most nerve-wrackingly-- in just a month or two, finding a place to live in Seattle and figuring out how I fit in there. Well, summer, I guess here goes nothing...

(Me at New Year's sporting the word of the year: Believe)

All Shook Up (Uh uh huh!)

Two nights ago, quite unexpectedly, the King captured my heart. Now, of course, I know about Elvis Presley, his iconic image, his catchphrases ("thank you, thank you very much"), and have even heard a few songs, but I wasn't quite sure what it was all about. Then, a couple of days ago, XM radio switched up all of their stations. Befuddled and trying to find my beloved BBC Radio 1, I stumbled upon Elvis Presley Radio. I paused the figurative dial for a moment... there was something catchy about the song. It soon ended, and "Loving You" came on.

(Elvis Presley at the studio; found here)

Now, I don't know what recording of the song this was, but there was something smooth and sweet and velvety and true in that voice and suddenly I knew why everyone loved the King. I knew why girls sighed over him and why all of his records sold record amounts. So for the past two days, I've kept tuned into the station (with side trips over to BBC Radio 1, of course) and I'm finding that I like Elvis more and more. Pretty soon I might consider myself a full blown fan. Maybe a trip to Graceland is in order. I've always wanted to visit Memphis...

As a side note, Elvis Presley always makes me think of The Bubble Room on Captiva Island, with it's zany jukebox Christmas feel and old Hollywood memorabilia (if you click the link, be sure your sound is on or you miss the best part!). On the wall of one booth, there's a picture of Elvis signing autographs. Now, listening to his music makes me long for unending summer and island living... and some bubble bread and cinnamon buns.

Button Raincoat on My Mind

You know how sometimes you have those moments where you fall briefly in love with an article of clothing, but feel that it's too expensive or you're just not sure enough, so you don't buy it? Then, over a year later, you find yourself still wishing that you had gotten it? That's where I am right now. Last June in Scotland I saw this absolutely beautiful raincoat at Ness, a Scottish chain clothing shop. It was light tan, with pink and yellow patterns and these adorable large buttons. It looked so cute on me, but it was well over a hundred dollars, once you converted from pounds. And so, I passed it by. I thought, how often do I wear a raincoat? Now, of course, I'm planning a move to Seattle. Who could've foreseen this one???

And the raincoat? Who knows. It's not on the Ness website, or on Ebay that I can find, nor does it even come up in a Google image search of "ness button raincoat" or "ness raincoat." Sigh.

(In other news, last night I made ginger-glazed mahi mahi with mashed potatoes and it was amazing! I love cooking! And this morning Zan and I went to breakfast at Aroma's for the first time in forever. They've changed their French toast and now it's sooo much tastier. And at some point I need to fill you all in on my work in the archives-- I read an incredible diary yesterday by an unnamed schoolmaster (I'm determined to find who he is) and today I read a Quaker letterbook. And I never told you about my awesome find in an eighteenth-century arithmetic book!!!... um, yes. These things do excite me. I guess that's why I'm starting a PhD program.)