After Christmas Stress

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! I certainly did! Christmas Eve we went to the 7:00 PM service at St. John's. I love the lighting of the candles and singing "Silent Night." It's always such a beautiful time. I love going to Church on Christmas Eve. Then we watched Muppet Christmas Carol as always. :) Then I read all of my favorite children's Christmas stories before going to sleep.

Christmas morning was wonderful-- I was spoiled this year. My dad got me two beautiful necklace and earring sets, and a Snow Princess Vermont Teddy Bear, and I got the Sims 3 and Wii Lego Indiana Jones. There goes my productivity. AND I got a mini-camcorder! So excited!

Christmas afternoon was fun, too. Allison is still in D.C. and all alone, so she came over and we went to see Sherlock Holmes. The movie was really entertaining-- the first 20 minutes worried me a bit, as I found them slow and plot-less, but after that it really picked up. I recommend this movie to anyone-- it's action-packed, sexy, and pretty true to the original concept (but... more action-packed and sexy). It also left the way clear for a sequel, which thrills me. I love reading Sherlock Holmes, how much fun to see it in this new way!

But now... oh. Back to the stress. I tricked my mind into being ok with not having done any work on my syllabus or thesis, because I reasoned that I couldn't be expected to do any work until after Christmas. Now Christmas is over. I am excuse-less. And panicking. So much to do and no library in which to do it. Swem is closed, so there's no point in going to Williamsburg, and the Library of Congress seems a bit difficult to use, though I may have to try. GAH! I can already feel the knots building in my shoulders again. :(

Christmas Knickumknackums and Christmas Eve

According to the incomparable Carter Hailey, yesterday was Christmas Knickumknackums, or the day before the day before Christmas. You are allowed to open a single gift, though I did not, and you feel all Christmas-y. I did do the feeling Christmas-y bit. My mom and I made snickerdoodles, oatmeal raisin and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, gingersnaps, and we are all set to make more cookies today, tortilla soup for Christmas Eve dinner, and apple pocket pies. I also worked on clay figures for people's Christmas presents yesterday. I just have to put finishing touches on Mike J.'s dragon, on Kacey's present, and on Emily's present. We also watched Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas and Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas before turning on the NCIS.

Currently we're watching It's A Wonderful Life. I've never seen it before, so far so good. Kind of depressing. Thus far I'm not sure why it's a Christmas movie, but maybe it becomes clearer. I like how at the beginning they say "At exactly 10:45 Earth time." It reminded me of Twilight Zone: in "To Serve Man," the main character asks "What time is it on Earth?" and they say "It's exactly 12:00 noon," or something like that, as if Earth has one time :).

I'm so excited for Muppet Christmas Carol tonight!

EDIT at 4:08 PM: Yeah, It's A Wonderful Life is definitely a Christmas movie. And a very heart-warming one at that. Will watch again. Also, ran on the elliptical (yay exercise after all this time!) and was watching Babes in Toyland for the first time-- so cute! I want Annette Funicello's clothes and dancing abilities!

Wedding Bells Will Chime

Annie is married! She had her wedding amidst snow yesterday, but it was beautiful nonetheless. She had a gorgeous dress, and a very nice Wren Chapel ceremony. The reception was incredibly fun-- great food, great dancing, friends I hadn't seen in a long time. An extremely cute "first dance" for Annie and Eric to Taylor Swift's "Love Story." I am not a fan of that song at all, but they were so adorable dancing to it I couldn't help but enjoy it.

It's still a little strange that someone from our "group" is married. I know Kristi got married a few weeks ago, but... I don't know, that didn't feel as odd; as long as I've known her she's been engaged. I guess I had more time to adjust to the idea. But I've known Annie since my first day at William and Mary, and she certainly wasn't engaged then :). We spent the summer after freshman year with Michelle watching "Slings and Arrows" and drinking mint lemonade. We were in "Romeo and Juliet" together, and I spent so many Sunday dinners at Russian House, and so many nights at the Drunk Duck. And now she's in New York for her honeymoon and moving to El Paso, TX which is so far away. I've gotten used to her fairly frequent visits to Williamsburg for wedding planning... not sure what I'll do now that there's really no chance of seeing her at all. I'm happy for her, because she seemed so happy at her wedding, but I'm sad, too, because I'll really miss her.

It's been an extremely snowy weekend. Mike J. drove in from Woodberry and it took him five hours, while it took Kay and Brian EIGHT hours from D.C. Crazy. Jason had stories about wiping out and spinning around on the icy roads. Luckily everyone made it here safely, and the roads in Williamsburg stayed MOSTLY clear (except when driving to the Winery for Annie's reception). And it was such a fun time seeing everyone!!! We spent Friday evening eating pizza and playing MarioKart until 3AM, and then Saturday night we played Apples to Apples! I haven't stayed up that late (except for paper-writing) in so long! I've also almost finished the Orangina clay dragon that I'm making for Mike, and bought a few more Christmas presents!!!

A wonderful wedding weekend. Congrats to Annie and Eric!

Christmastime is Here

Christmastime is definitely here. I have bought gifts for my parents and Dana, know what I'm getting Kay, and know what I'm making for Mike J., Emily, and Kacey. I still have some people on my list, though, that I'm struggling with figuring out what to get them. And I need to send a few Christmas cards. Despite the stress of Christmas-gift finding/making, though, I'm so excited to get in and wrap the presents I've bought and set them down under the Christmas tree!!! I really, truly am someone who likes the giving aspect of this holiday more than the getting aspect. If I had all the money in the world I would lavish thousands of presents upon my friends. It makes me happy to make other people happy. If I had all the time in the world I would make them thousands of presents-- as it is, this year has to be a mix of crafted and store-bought. I haven't made a single clay object for my parents yet-- so strange-- or even done any cross-stitching!

But Christmastime is here, regardless. I watched Love Actually with my mom the other night. I set up the Nativity Scene, something I do every year. It's my favorite part of Christmas decorating. I attended Cat's cookie decorating party yesterday (which was quite intense; she gave us a bit of dough to roll out, we cookie cut it, she baked it, and only then did we decorate). I have started in on my "Christmas" reads, such as the winter/Christmas chapters from Little House in the Big Woods and Little House on the Prairie, Merry Christmas Strega Nona, The Polar Express, Santa Calls, A Victorian Christmas Tea, Lone Star, and this book my mom had in the '60s full of Christmas stories for children. I love that one. And as soon as I go back home (I'm in the 'burg again, this time for Annie's wedding) it will be time for Charlie Brown Christmas, Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas, and most importantly, the Christmas Eve viewing of A Muppet Christmas Carol.

Did anyone else read The Polar Express as a child? One line that always stuck with me was the one about drinking hot chocolate as rich as a melted chocolate bar. I've searched for that hot chocolate everywhere. I found close approximations at a cafe in Paris, and at the coffee chain Cafe Nero in England, and the Williams-Sonoma Hot Chocolate I got is close. But mmm, I want to try the hot chocolate on the Polar Express. If only... :)

I miss being a little kid and having the whole month of build-up to Christmas. It feels as though it has come upon me so suddenly the past few years. Finals end and then BAM Christmas. I think I've forgotten how to really savor the holidays. *Sigh*

Anyways, this weekend should be nice! I have a facial this afternoon, followed by Annie's wedding rehearsal (I'm an usherette), and then Mike J. and Kay and Brian should get here either late tonight or early tomorrow and we will go to the wedding! Plus, I'm planning on starting in on making clay gifts, which will make me feel all happy and Christmas-y!

EDIT at 7:17 PM: It's snowing!!!!!

Home Sweet Home

I'm back home for a few days! I'm heading back to the 'burg in a few days for sundry parties (cocktail, bachelorette) and a wedding, but for now I'm back home! So far it's been lovely. I got in yesterday and met my parents at Tyson's for lunch and a bit of shopping. I got a dress for Annie's wedding, which I hope will be cute. And I have a Jason who is going to get a dark suit to match it! :) Can't wait to see him-- it's been months.

Then I got to see Kay! I honestly haven't seen her since summer, which is far too long. It was so nice to catch up with her. I got lunch with her today, and I saw her new house, which is so darling and she has such nice roommates!!! I have missed my Kay-diddle immensely.

Last night I went to a fondue party with Allison in DC. It was fantastic to meet new people and to hang out with other graduate students from another program. They seemed about as bogged down with work as the people in my program, so I guess grad school hell is universal. Still, I had a wonderful time eating chocolate-covered strawberries and talking about Winter Break plans and just generally being away from the Williamsburg scene. I need a new influx of people. Sometimes Williamsburg just feels so incredibly small and everyone is too interconnected. A change of scene is sometimes necessary.

Today, besides seeing Kay, I also went to a movie with Adam! Haven't seen him since the summer either. We saw The Princess and the Frog. I am so extremely happy that Disney has decided to go back to 2-D hand-drawn animation. Their decision to only do 3-D CGI was perhaps one of the most disappointing things I ever heard, so I'm thrilled they've gone back to their roots. They better keep up this hand-drawn thing, now. So many people have missed it. And this movie wasn't half bad, either! If I had been in a charge I may have changed a few things, but ultimately, I think it was a good product and worthy of the Disney name. I really loved the Tiana, the princess. The Charlotte character was hilarious, too. So, overall, good.

Tonight is Nativity Scene set-up and Christmas tree decorating with parents :)!!!

Turkey in the Rain

So, last week when Mike J. was visiting we went out to La Tolteca with Kacey. It was raining (big surprise, that's all it's done this semester). So anyways, Kacey mentioned that when turkeys feel rain on their heads they look up to see what is hitting them and the rain gets in their noses and they drown. I'm not sure if this is true or not, but Mike J. decided it should be a proverb.

Don't be a turkey in the rain.

It means something like, "Don't do something stupid." Or "Don't make poor life decisions." Or, when you feel really dumb about something you might say, "Geez, I was just a turkey in rain."

I was just a turkey in the rain.

But whatever, life goes on, it's good, there's always hope for redemption :).

In other news, I went to the spa today and it was lovely.

Hebrew Jewbulation!

I have finished with everything! I turned in my final paper, "The Formation of Converso Identity: A Lecture," to Professor Homza about twenty minutes ago and now... the sweet feeling of freedom. I can do anything today. I could go for a walk in CW. I could go to the spa. I could watch a movie. I could Rosetta Stone. I could read for fun. I could drink. I could sleep. I could begin Christmas shopping, Christmas cross-stitching, and Christmas clay-making. *Happiness*

Really, though, writing this paper was one of the least stressful things I've done this semester... or since about sophomore year. I gave myself plenty of time to research and write, instead of cramming it all in the night before the due date. And I had a fantastic place to write, as I was at Mike and Zan's apartment, so the process was tempered with episodes of Dr. Who and random trips to Taco Bell (even though I made Mike make me a salad because Taco Bell just isn't real food). Yay for writing near friends!!!

And, since I finished the paper nominally around noon yesterday, I even got to go out for ice cream with Laura before frantically footnoting!

Last night, after I had almost finished the paper, including the footnoting, the editing, and the bibliography, and had sent out the paper to Kay and Zan to proof-read and edit (well, Kay edited :), Zan showed me Mel Brooks' "The Spanish Inquisition" from History of the World Part 1 on his computer), I went to the Leafe with a couple of grad students for a drink called "Hebrew Jewbulation Bar Mitzvah Thirteenth Anniversary Ale." We just got a sample of it, as it was strong, and then I had a pint of Magic Hat #9, but I feel that it's the thought that counts.

Welcome, Winter Break! You don't know how much I've longed for you!

Wedding Bells Will Ring

Yesterday my friend, Kristi, got married. I was a reader in the wedding (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13), so I got to attend the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner on Friday, and then I handed out programs before the wedding, and of course did the reading and attended the reception.

The wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Kristi is so happy. I'm so happy for her. She deserves to be incredibly happy and she is. You could see how radiant she felt all weekend, and her vows were lovely and sincere. I don't know her husband, Kevin, that well, but he seems like a great guy and seems to really, really love her. :)

The wedding took place at Walnut Hills Baptist Church, and Mike J. came down for it and helped me to hand out programs. I have missed him so much! I always forget how funny he is and how he brightens up any situation. We had a great time joking and catching up, and I'm excited to see him again in a few weeks for Annie's wedding. Anyways, we handed out programs before the wedding and talked to some of the ushers, who were equally entertaining, and then the wedding happened (the chaplain, in my opinion, left a little to be desired) and then we headed over to the reception.

Oh. My. God. Amazing. It was at a really nice country club on Richmond Road out near Lightfoot. The dining room was decorated beautifully with silver tree centerpieces which Kristi and her sister made, and lovely red bows on every chair. They had bacon-wrapped scallops at the hors d'oeurves table and a specialty drink called "A Passionate Kiss." Then for dinner we had filet mignon at our fun "single's" table... which actually was fun. I liked everyone there. We kept clinking our silverware on the glasses to make Kristi and Kevin kiss, and at one point when we were clinking Kristi looked over and mouthed, "I will kill you." It was hilarious. I'm not sure they actually got to eat their food so many people were clinking silverware. Then we did a "shamrock dance" much like musical chairs except the winner got a bottle of Bailey's. I was in the top 10, but didn't win. The dancing part was ok, except the DJ kind of sucked, but that in itself provided loads of fun.

The best part was how happy everyone was, especially Kristi. :)

That night after the reception Mike J. and I hosted "Twilight Zone Saturday," and we watched some new episodes and got to enjoy a late night of Rod Serling. So overall, a fantastic weekend.

Let's Dance!

I'm in such a mood-- I want to dance. And sing and generally just be happy! If you know me, you know the dancing thing is odd. I have absolutely no sense of rhythm. I'm usually quite embarrassed to dance. But right now, give me music and a dance floor! No idea why I feel this way. Well, a little of an idea. I just drove around in my car with some dance music on. I went to see Director's Workshops again tonight (each night was fantastic-- good job to the directors/actors!) and driving home I had on upbeat music. So I decided I wanted to go to Bloom just so I could drive around longer and anyways I needed cat food. And then driving home more upbeat music! And then home to write discussion notes for Sale of the Century: Artistic Relations Between Spain and Great Britain 1604-1655. But that's done! Now I want to dance!

Maybe this weekend at Kristi's wedding I can dance.

Also, only a research paper left (due next Thursday) and I will have completed my first semester as a graduate student! Hooray!

'Tis the Season

Happy December 1st! Finally we can start actually getting into a Christmas mood. ABC is done with it's Countdown to 25 Days of Christmas, and can now just... count down the 25 days until Christmas. Now stores can legitimately play Christmas music, and now I can finally feel ok about decorating the house, watching Christmas movies, and feeling light-hearted. Christmastime is almost here! The season of clay figurines over Orangina bottles, and Muppet Christmas Carol, Love Actually, and Charlie Brown Christmas, has arrived! Hooray!

And at long last the semester is winding down. I only have one more book and one more research paper to go. I finished my 10 page prospectus and annotated bibliography on Sunday night (though it needs a touch of editing), I had my last research methods class yesterday, and most importantly, my last Hoffman class!!! I didn't even do as terribly on the paper as I expected, even though I somehow managed to not turn in the 2nd page. Oops. I really hope for a good grade in the class overall. I think my discussion skills were up to par, but I guess we'll see when the grades come out.

I already feel a touch freer. The research paper for Homza will be a lot of work, but that's my last big project of the semester. Now I can start to get excited for Kristi's wedding on Saturday, make fun plans for Winter Break, not feel guilty spending two nights at Director's Workshop shows, and maybe take a bit of time to make hot chocolate and watch a movie. And of course, I need to ILL some books for my thesis and make a plan for how to tackle the reading over break, and I need to work on my syllabus for my independent study. But generally, feeling a bit more serene about my academic life than I have in awhile.

Personal life, on the other hand, alternates between being totally boring, mildly irritating, and rather depressing. EXCEPT that Kacey, Megan, Luci, and I have formed a Geocache team. We are doing this great thing where we basically go treasure-hunting around Williamsburg (and the WORLD!) and we plan on having great adventures in our Geocache searches. There are Geocaches everywhere from DoG Street to the Olympic Stadium in Beijing. Honestly, life just got more exciting. :)

Thanksgiving

Today has been nice. Chill. Just hanging out with my parents, which has been lovely, eating good food at the King's Arm's Tavern, taking a nap, and reading The Shoemaker and the Tea Party and Princes of Ireland, Planters of Maryland. Also hanging out with my cat, which is the usual bi-product of reading; he sees me sitting on the couch and immediately tries to distract me or sit on my lap. The only sad part about Thanksgiving break is that Williamsburg empties out, and I have none of my friends around. In a way, I suppose that's helpful for productivity, but less helpful for happiness.

Still, I have much to be thankful for, and that's what this day is all about. I have wonderful parents, who love me and always have faith in me. I don't know what I would do without them. They have given me so much confidence and support. They are always there when I need them for anything and everything, from vanilla cokes, to discussing papers, to life problems. They are everything to me. And, while on family, I have an amazing cousin who I love and consider one of my absolute best friends. I got to see him while I was home last weekend and it was fantastic.

And I have amazing friends, some of the best in the world. I don't know what I would have done this semester without their constant love and commiseration. From late night conversations about anything and everything, to lunches at La Tolteca, to movie nights (Mario Bros? Twilight drinking game? Yes, please), to hanging out in their apartments writing papers, to simply being able to call and hang out when I'm stressed or down, they have been so wonderful to me. Even my friends far away have seemed closer this semester, especially thanks to the joys of G-Chat. :) I'm not sure I could have survived this semester without their love.

I'm thankful, too, for grad school, even though I complain. I'm lucky to be able to get an advanced degree, to have a stipend, and to live in a safe town in a comfortable home. Sure, I want more from life than Williamsburg can offer, but right now this degree is what I need and will help me with my dreams. Plus, I've met some great people in the program.

Finally, I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family and friends-- it's something very precious and we don't even realize it until it's gone.

So, that's what I'm thankful for-- family, friends, knowledge, health, and amenities. :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Oh, Academia. Oh, Life.

Guh... I just turned in my last paper for Professor Hoffman's class. I have no idea how I did, but after class discussion I'm thinking not so hot. I guess I'll find out next Monday. I feel drained of all energy. Partially that could be due to staying up late last night to finish the paper, and waking up early this morning for no good reason at all. Then again, it could be that I don't think I comprehended the arguments of Gordon Wood and Merrill Jensen very accurately and probably screwed up by saying they generally agreed in their assessment of the Constitution. Or, it could be that I have nearly lost my voice and burned my finger on a tray from the oven just before class, thus forcing me to keep it held in a cup of water the entire discussion.

I could use a drink. LUCKILY, there's a Twilight "Mock-The-Movie" drinking game party going on tonight, so at least that much will make everything all better.

Other than the past few hours, today has generally been good, believe it or not. I met with Professor Lounsbury this morning, and what he had to show me about colonial American theater and David Douglass was fascinating.  He really made me feel so excited about my thesis. And looking at the theater construction is amazingly interesting! I'm dying to go see the Georgian Theatre in Richmond (England).

After meeting with him, I ran over to Blair to meet up with Professor Popper, with whom I am going to do an independent study next semester. I'm INCREDIBLY stoked about this. I get to create my own syllabus for an independent readings course on Shakespeare in performance in the Renaissance theater through the Restoration. SO EXCITED! And Professor Popper is fantastic. I really like talking with him, and I think this course will really help me with applications to Shakespearian theaters. And even if not, it will still be great. I just need to talk to people (like perhaps, Callie and Katie?) about good readings to put on my syllabus.

So overall, the day wasn't a total bummer. But guh, Topics in American Revolutionary Era just killed it. Hopefully Twilight, in some sick way, will resuscitate it. :)

"I don't tell the truth, I tell what ought to be the truth"

Today I got to go see A Streetcar Named Desire starring Cate Blanchett as Blanche du Bois. She was absolutely amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, and heart-breaking. The play was superb. Her descent into madness was breath-taking. She managed to reign it back, letting it out little by little and just when you thought she had gone over the edge, she went one step more. The actors playing Stanley and Stella were fantastic, too. Stanley was terrifying, pyschologically abusive and fascinating. Utterly captivating. The show lasted over three hours and I never noticed the time passing. Also, Cate Blanchett runs like me! When she flitted across the stage for the curtain calls and during set changes she did the Abigail Run!!! I was so thrilled! I have idolized this woman since I was ten years old when my dad took me to see her in Elizabeth-- watching her acting live absolutely made my month, my semester, perhaps my year.

Really, an amazing performance. The line that is the title of this post most struck me-- Blanche tells Mitch that she doesn't tell the truth, she tells what ought to be the truth. She wants to be sunshine in the lives of those she knows. She doesn't want reality, but what reality should be. It was sad to watch the character struggle against everything that had befallen her and, as an audience member knowing that the worst was yet to come, yet she still tries to justify herself. And isn't that all anyone really wants? Not the truth, but what the truth ought to be?

Oh, for the theater! I miss it so much. I miss being in plays, working backstage, cast/crew bonding, cast parties, inside jokes, costumes, lights, make-up, props, magic. I hope I get an internship in a theater next fall. I'm dying for the theater again. I love history, but I'm realizing more and more that I simply cannot live without the theater.

I'm back from DC now, though. I went to dinner with Kacey tonight at Outback Steakhouse and got a sirloin and lobster tail, but instead of one normal sized tail I got three little tails. Fun-sized, I called them. That got us talking about candy-bar sizes and why. Why fun-sized? Is it because you are having fun, like at a party, when you get that size? Or you can eat that size and still go out and have fun later? Then, the mini-sized should be 'craving sized.' Because you eat that size when you think, "Geez, I'd just like a little chocolate." The medium sized should be 'average sized,' because you get that on an average day, when you want a candy bar. And finally, King sized should be 'eating-your-feelings sized,' because honestly, you get King sized when you have had a shitty day or week. Plus, calling it 'eating-your-feelings sized' might cut back on American obesity, as no one wants candy bars called 'eating-your-feelings sized.'

Race to the Finish Line

I'm so close to the end of the semester that I can taste it. Sadly, I looked over my reading for Hoffman's class (I have the paper due this week) and my good mood evaporated. So much reading. I want to cry. Plus, I'm currently struggling through Culture of the Baroque: Analysis of a Historical Structure and I'm finding it incredibly difficult. It reminds me of my reading for LCST 301.

An example sentence from said book, chosen at random: "Although it remains indispensable to consider external characteristics, specific morphological data, which are undoubtedly important, we cannot limit ourselves to these data nor can we assume that explaining their raison d'etre will allow us to understand what the baroque represented in European and particularly Spanish culture (pg. 207)."

Furthermore, my house just feels unclean. I'm trying to make it clean, but the downstairs feels messy and I don't have time to go to the grocery store, and my study is cluttered, and I need to do laundry and I have so much reading to do. Bah.

Good news though! We got tickets to see A Streetcar Named Desire at the Kennedy Center this weekend, so I'm going home for Friday and Saturday. Hopefully I can get some good reading done at home. I also got my dress for Kristi's wedding! It's a silver-gray paisley fabric with cream lace. It's called a "Christine Dress" named after Christine Daae from Phantom of the Opera, so guess what's been playing in my car recently?

Also, I found out that Maud Hart Lovelace, the author of my wonderful Betsy-Tacy books, wrote a historical novel entitled The Charming Sally about the Hallam theater troupe in colonial America!!!! There's even a chapter called "Williamsburg." OMG! A fictionalized version of my thesis by a woman I adore!!! I really feel like this is God endorsing my thesis idea.

And, my mom is in town, so she took me to Cracker Barrel for breakfast this morning, which was lovely. I had eggs, biscuits with apple butter, bacon, hashbrowns, hot chocolate, and got to see all of their Christmas-y goodness. Over Thanksgiving break I am planning to buy stockings and decorations for me and Stephen. :)

And I Say, It's Alright

The sun came out today! You have no idea how much this has improved my disposition. The past week has been gloomy and sad, but finally, today, we have the sun again.

I've been in a very odd mood all weekend. It really started on Friday, I suppose. I have been torn by a need to do work and a desire to go out and have fun. I feel so burned out. I'm at my "rebellious teenage phase" of this semester; that is, the phase in which I say "No! I don't want to do this reading and you can't make me!" Of course, I end up doing the readings, but I just haven't been into it at all. And there's so much reading. And a presentation due tomorrow.

This weekend has felt in some sense wasted. I haven't been at all academically productive and nothing has happened with any of my interpersonal relationships either. Friday night I ran the IEW Student Music and Dance Event at the Kimball, and it actually turned out rather well! We had 71 people attend (much better than I anticipated) and I got to hang out with a girl named Bailey who seems really nice and chill. Plus, it went fast once it was underway-- we started at 8:00 and I was out of there by 9:00. After that, I went home and watched some Comedy Central with Stephen and his bio friends until 11:00, when Stephen and I went to the I.T Comedy Sportz Show. They did a fantastic job with everything! It was also really high-tech-- when did I.T. get so nice?

The rest of Friday I just felt restless and... bad. I don't know. Saturday wasn't a whole lot better. I didn't really get any reading done (only about... 50 pages or so) and I just didn't want to do anything. That's a lie-- I wanted to veg out on the couch with movies. Didn't happen. I ended up going out, though, Saturday night for drinks with the grad students and one of Stephen's friends who is visiting. It was a nice time. But I woke up this morning with a sense of dread about all of the reading I need to do today.

But the sun came out! I have a feeling that everything will be alright.

Nicknames

If you know me at all, you know I love the TV show The Gilmore Girls. I was watching an episode the other day while eating my near-daily grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup (mmm grad student food!), and at a Friday Night Dinner Emily told Lorelei and Rory that her friend Sweetie had died. Lorelei asked how Sweetie got her nickname. Emily makes up some very long, intricate story to satisfy Lorelei's curiosity, but it got me to thinking about nicknames.

I tend to give nicknames to people after awhile of knowing them (for example, Kay-diddle), and I've noticed that people give nicknames to me, too. While some of them I cherish, not all of them are appreciated.

Lots of people call me Abby-- mostly professors. They all ask at the beginning of the class if I go by a nickname, and I always tell them no, I prefer Abigail, but apparently it's no good. The problem is, if in class a a professor calls you Abby, suddenly the whole class knows you as Abby. And seriously, I can stand many nicknames, but I've never been a fan of Abby. I'll respond, of course, but after awhile it drives me crazy. In class a few weeks ago one other student kept referring to things I had said by calling me Abby and I literally wrote in huge letters in my notebook "ABIGAIL" just to keep myself from yelling it out.

Even worse is "Crabby-Abby." My PE teacher in 5th grade used to call me that. It combined "Crabby" with my least favorite nickname "Abby" and I was MISERABLE.

Somehow, though, Abi seems ok. The spelling makes a huge difference. I still hate it when people call me Abi/Abby, but if I see it written as Abi I feel much less bad about it. I've had several friends and (ex) boyfriends over the years write to me as Abi or even call me Abi (which in the "ex" case should have been a sure sign to break up ;), right?), and I never mind it so much when I see it spelled out that way.

Other friends of mine call me Ab, which isn't bad. It's better than Abby, that's for certain, and because I'm usually quite close with the people who call me Ab, it's even better than Abi, whether said or spelled. My friends Dana and Emily call me Ab or Abs, and for them either is okay. :)

Usually, though, my father calls me Abs. He's called me Abs since I was born. I sort of think of that name as being reserved for him. Sometimes other people that I don't know well call me Abs, and it's a little jarring, because that's the name that my dad uses and only he can legitimately use, at least in my opinion. Every e-mail and every birthday card is addressed to his wonderful daughter, Abs. I love my Dad, and I love hearing from him and having him call me Abs. (Also, that's the URL of this blog-- absandtherealworld)

One of my best friends, Mike J., calls me Absi and I love that nickname! It's my "name" on blogger, and I just don't know what I would do if Mike ever quit calling me Absi. I forget how we even stumbled upon it, but it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy when I'm called Absi by people that I love.

Of course, I prefer Abigail in most situations. So, if you want to get on my good side, stick with Abigail and I will probably think you're the most awesome person ever for not trying to make me an Abby! :)

How do you all feel about nicknames? Got any good ones?

"It's this day not me that's bound to go away!"

November 9th has come and gone, and I have survived. It took lots of hard work and the past weekend was spent nearly entirely alone with my books, but I accomplished everything necessary. Since the beginning of the semester I've been rather dreading November 9th. Between first day of classes and November 9th in my Golden Age of Spain class I had three book reviews and a prospectus and annotated bibliography due, in addition to appended readings. In Hoffman's class I had two papers due (the third is due November 23rd) and tons of reading. Tons. Really, someone once asked me what the class was called and my friend replied "Topics in How to Kill A Grad Student." And in my thesis class I've had due a prospectus and annotated bibliography, and now I have a 20-minute presentation due on Monday. No rest for the weary, but I survived November 9th. I have successfully turned in all three book reviews, managed two decent prospectuses and bibliographies, and kept up with the reading for all of my classes. This has not been easy, and there's a month left to go, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. December 4th is not that far off. :)

In case anyone is interested, I will tell you a little bit about what exactly I'm researching, because I'm not sure if I ever have. First of all, my thesis: I'm in a Comparative History Masters program, so my thesis has to compare something, or be transnational in some sense. Comparative History is pretty awesome in how open it is, and how creative you can be with topics. For my thesis, I'm comparing eighteenth-century English theater with colonial American theater. I am focusing on a theater company led by Hallam, and later Douglass, called The London Company of Comedians, later known as The American Company. As implied by their original name, this troupe came from London to perform in the colonies, and traveled a circuit which includes Williamsburg. In fact, Douglass built his first theater here in Williamsburg in 1760, then built others in Philadelphia, Charleston, and Jamaica. I'm planning on looking at the effect that theater had upon the identity of the colonists. In The Marketplace of Revolution, T.H Breen argues that the consumption of British goods led the colonists to feel more connected to the British empire, enhancing their feelings of "Britishness," until they could bind together in boycotts and non-consumption agreements, which then strengthened their feeling of American unity. In a sense, that's what I'm arguing about theater, at least the professional London companies which dominated colonial theater. The similarities between the playgoing experience in London and America contributed to a feeling of "Britishness" in the colonies until the Revolution, when theater was seen as "too English" and they boycotted theater just as they did other luxury goods. Douglass and his American Company waited out the Revolution in Jamaica.

I'm also going to try to incorporate the return of The American Company after the Revolution (in 1786 they came back to the States). I want to see how they changed their repertoire, how they adapted to the new political climate, and how the former colonists responded to the theater after the Revolution, especially theater done by British subjects who had left during the Revolution. So, in that way, I will be comparing American theater pre-and-post Revolution, as well as comparing English and colonial American theater. It's a multi-layered project.

My other major assignment right now is my research paper for Golden Age of Spain. Here I'm rather restricted by my inability to read Spanish, Portuguese, or Hebrew, so I have decided to approach my topic historiographically (that is, I am looking at the way the topic has been discussed by historians in the past few decades, and the major arguments within the field). For my paper, I'm examining converso identity after the expulsion of the Jews from Spain. Conversos are any person who can trace their lineage back to a forcibly converted Jew. Not all conversos actually retained any Jewish beliefs, but all were far more likely to come under the scrutiny of the Inquisition, so after 1492 many fled to Portugal or other places on the continent. After the establishment of the Portuguese Inquisition in 1536, those conversos in Portugal also fled into Europe, many to Amsterdam, where they had a community. For my paper I'm focusing mostly on the community in Amsterdam because it was very important to converso societies throughout Europe.

Converso identity is hard to pin down because it has an ethnic, religious, and "national" quality to it. Conversos, of course, were racially Jewish, at least in part, so even those conversos who had no wish to practice Judaism and who legitimately believed in Christian teachings were often welcomed by community members (NOT leaders who wanted pure rabbinic practices). On the other hand, many did want to practice Judaism, but they had different ideas about Judaism-- they felt that they had adequately kept the Law of Moses while living in Iberia. Some were crypto-Jews who combined Catholic and Jewish beliefs. Some practiced traditional rabbinic Judaism. It's a wide spectrum. Then, they all had great pride in their Iberian heritage. In the communities Portuguese and Castilian were the main languages and they looked down upon the Ashkenazi Jews who they regarded as inferior and less-educated. The converso communities were greatly influenced by their Iberian roots, many kept in touch with family in Spain or Portugal, and some even continued to travel there for mercantile purposes (though sometimes in their travels they fell into the clutches of the Inquisition). Anyways, it's complicated business, this converso identity.

Beyond these two things, I am also trying to keep up with my American Rev readings, which proves difficult when the library loses the readings on reserve, as they did yesterday. Thanks Swem! Those readings, as I've mentioned, are excessive, but extremely interesting. Not this Monday, but the next Monday I have a paper due on "The Constitution: Political or Social Document?" I've never really gotten to study the Constitution, so I'm looking forward to actually sitting down and learning about the creation of this thing that dominates American politics. I'm also still trying to get through books in Golden Age of Spain; right now it's "Writing Women in Late Medieval and Early Modern Spain," about female authors, usually nuns or religious writings. And of course, I'm preparing for my thesis presentation! Let me just stress for a moment how much I love the CW Rockefeller Library for having so many amazing sources for me that Swem just does not have. :)

I would tell you all about the fun things I've been doing with my life, but basically what I just outlined for you is it. There has been a little bit of drama in the past few days with people text-messaging me that I never really expected to hear from again, or people who are very forward, but that's peripheral. I did see Twelfth Night last Thursday, presented by SitD, and it was amazing. Truly wonderful. I went out for drinks with some people after the show, and that was fun, too. Um... Saturday evening Shea came to visit me (she was my flatmate when I studied abroad) and we watched a silly Nickelodeon show called iCarly and got ice cream at Maggie Moo's. And then Sunday I went out to dinner with Zan, Allison (who was visiting from Georgetown!) and Sarah Lifka. But seriously, these things were brief hourly respites from days at Swem and Blair. Mmm Winter Break. Can't come fast enough.

The Phantom Tollbooth

I'm currently at the Reves Center. I've been processing evaluations from Summer Study Abroad programs for the last two hours, and I just can't take it anymore. Especially not the Florence ones. I really don't think anyone here would understand why processing Florence evaluations is so emotionally taxing for me, especially considering that I really did not care for my study abroad experience there. So, why does reading about Chianti make me tear up? Why does a flood of memories come rushing back that actually make me care? Well, I think we can all surmise the reason for that.

But anyways, I'm bored with life. I ironed out the complications of a few days ago, and now... there's nothing to do. I mean, there's plenty. I have a book review to write by tomorrow, several books to read by Monday for Hoffman, and a prospectus and annotated bibliography due for Professor Homza by Monday. Luckily I got the reading done for Spain class yesterday. But those things aren't life-- those things are school. And while I am getting some enjoyment from them, I want something exciting to happen! I want a (non-harmful to anyone I know or love) mystery to solve! I want plane tickets to Europe or Asia or Africa!

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere!

So I think I will pretend that when I get home in half an hour I will find a mysterious package waiting outside my door with no return address. It will have a sign that says, "For Abigail, Who Is Bored With Life." I will open it and find inside a mysterious tollbooth that I can easily set-up. And then... adventure will be begin!

Ain't No Sunshine.

This has been the most Novemberish of November 1sts. Daylight savings ended, so it got dark earlier tonight than it has been, but even beyond that the weather has been gray and cloudy and rainy and cold. October 31st was warm, and before 2:00 AM clear, but not November 1st. Plus, it's November 1st, which means I should have far more schoolwork done than I do, but life has been acting complicated lately, so I'm trying to sort out life. I can't concentrate on schoolwork. Especially not with rainy, cold, "stay-in-bed-with-a-good-book-not-related-to-academic-history," type weather.

The bright spot in the past few weeks has been hanging out with Kacey again on a more regular basis. We had lunch and dinner together today to commiserate about Halloween and life, which made me happy in between reading periods at Swem. I'm so sick of reading I could cry. How much I do not want schoolwork amazes me. This is worse than senior year. I just want a good solid week off, then maybe I could actually feel like reading again.

Last night was Halloween! Beautiful and brilliant, with so many intricacies! I spent the day reading (of course) and then went to a graduate student party dressed as Belle. I was only there for about two hours, but it was nice. We aren't a crazy group, nor a particularly close one, but I had fun talking to the students who were there. I told one of the guys that I was going to be Sally Bowles at my next party, and he showed me his vinyl album of Cabaret. Honestly, he's the absolute last person I would have thought would have liked that musical... or any musical. I left there around 9:00, grabbed my Sally Bowles costume, then headed over to Megan and Kacey's to get ready for the I.T. party. Kacey dressed as Brett Michaels and CJ and Megan were her ho's. They even made a VIP pass. It was hilarious. We headed over to the I.T. party and I got to see and meet so many people. It was a really fun time. I wish it could always be Saturday night, and most always Halloween. I love Halloween-- everyone dresses up, there are specials on TV, great movies, smiles, parties... and now it's November. What a dreadful month. Suddenly the beauty of autumn begins to turn into the cold gray of winter without anything until the end of the month (Thanksgiving) to even feel slightly cheery. Just Spain class and thesis-ing. Blegh. And sorting out messes that I made myself, and some that just landed on my shoulders for no good reason.

Why is life so complicated all of a sudden?

My Other Addiction and Other Stories

About a month ago, perhaps more, I wrote about my addiction to Odwalla. That has not gone away. In fact, it may have gotten worse. I have an Odwalla about five days a week now, and this morning I was disheartened to find that the Marketplace is currently out of my favorite Odwallas, so I'm making due with nothing. Maybe I'll get a Vitamin Water later.

But Odwalla is not my only addiction, it's just my healthy one. I'm also addicted to Vanilla Cokes. When I was little, my mom and I were "vanilla coke buddies" and we would go to Whaley's Drug Store in Jefferson City about three times a week for the sweet drink. The people at Whaley's knew us. We only had to say "Large" or "Small" and they would make us our vanilla cokes. When we moved to Virginia, we looked everywhere for vanilla cokes and found a close approximation at MooRenko's, an ice cream store near where we lived. But recently that closed. They have vanilla pepsi at Aroma's, but it's not the same, and the vanilla syrup they use isn't very good.

But then I discovered the Wawa Soda Fountain. Wawa, saviour of hungry undergraduates, has become my vanilla coke supplier. In the back they have a soda fountain complete with different syrups so that a thirsty addict may make her own vanilla coke. And I do. Oh, I do. I have vanilla cokes when I'm feeling down, when I'm celebrating, when I'm really thirsty, when I need to stay awake to read or write a paper, or pretty much any time that I go into Wawa. Vanilla coke: drink of the gods. Better than mead.

Vanilla cokes have helped me greatly in the past week. I have had lots of reading and writing, and more to do before November 9th. The only problem is that if I have them late at night to keep me awake, they keep me awake even after the paper has been finished, or after I've decided that I've done enough reading for the evening. As a result, I lately have not gotten quite as much sleep as I might have hoped. But no matter! I have finished two book reviews, read thousands of pages (literally), and gotten a topic for my Spain class paper!

But, I want to keep my immune system well because apparently we have had 531 cases of swine flu here at the College since September 1st. I do not have time to get sick. I have a thesis prospectus to research still! Thus, the Odwalla. And it all comes full circle.
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Last night I watched Halloweentown with Megan Castle and the gang! We had such a good time! Megan and her roommates made brownies, rice crispy treats, chocolate covered pretzels, and popcorn, so we ate tons of food and watched probably the best/worst Halloween movie ever made. It was a welcome study break. Tonight we are going to have Ghost Adventures get together, and then tomorrow night is Halloween!

I have too many costumes: Belle, River Tam, and Sally Bowles. Luckily, I have lots of parties to go to, so I will be able to wear at least two of the three! I love Halloween!

To Thine Own Self Be True

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

I thought of this quote last night when I said something to my housemate about how I just needed a good night's sleep and then I would wake up and start acting like someone the Abigail underneath all of this would like to be. As soon as I had said the words, "To thine own self be true..." came to mind. It led me to take Betsy in Spite of Herself off the shelf. I read a little bit, and realized that I've been acting like Betsye, not Betsy, for the whole semester. Or rather, Abigaile, not Abigail. I'm trying to make things work that blatantly aren't working, I'm trying to be someone I'm not, and I'm being very unhealthy. I've basically started starving myself to get work done, I'm not enjoying my work, and I'm doing things that I would never normally do out of a desire for an outlet. I've spent most of the semester not hanging out with my real friends due to miscommunication, and with the people I do hang out with I feel like I can't act like myself-- I'm quieter, less silly... just not me. Actually, I'm reminded a lot of sophomore year when I went crazy with drinking, except that lesson has been learned so none of this has to do with alcohol.

I've thus resolved to start fresh this week. I will be someone that I'm proud of being once more. I want to start eating regular meals, talking with people who mean something to me and who love me as I am, and making decisions which I will not regret. I want to make a good start on all of the reading and work I have done, and hopefully to complete most of my assignments due November 9th by November 6th. That is a noble goal: 3 papers and an annotated bibliography, plus reading for Hoffman and a little thesis work. I think I will also make an appointment for a facial at the spa. My skin would probably like a little loving care, and so would I. I will work hard, and I will make time to do things that I want to do-- I will read a chapter a day of a book of my choosing, I will help Kay with her romance novel, and I will write for me, too. I want the chance to be creative again, and the only thing really holding me back is me.
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This weekend was Homecoming! I had a very wonderful time, except got very little sleep. Stephen and I had Andrew, Dan, and Melissa staying at our home, and I loved seeing them. Friday night we had a party. Stephen had originally said we should just have a few alums over for a little while, but word spread and we had a bona fide party on our hands. People that I hadn't seen in months arrived!!! Saturday we had the I.T. show, which was fantastic. We had about 30 people in the show-- so many alums: me and Stephen of course, but also Zach, Flanny, Kilroy, Sallade, Strehle, Lovell, Stack, Hannah, Sam, and many others. I love I.T. Homecoming. Last night I wasn't feeling well, so after a dinner at Retro's, Kacey and I curled up and watched Hocus Pocus on TV. It's one of my favorite Halloween movies, so I was glad to get to see it. Then, I went home, read a bit of Betsy in Spite of Herself, and fell into a long, long sleep.

Now I get to read. Now I get to try to improve my outlook on life.

Also: Congrats to Kay!!!! I hope your show went/is going fantastically! I love you and I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to see it, but I heard that you were wonderful!

Hunger is Good Discipline

I've noticed that on the days when I have an Odwalla or nothing for breakfast I accomplish more in the morning than when I make tea and toast. I love tea and toast days-- I love sitting on the couch in the mornings watching a little TV or reading something for fun with my warm, milky drink and my buttery raisin-cinnamon toast. Precisely because I love this, however, I end up spending twenty or thirty minutes reveling in the making and enjoying of toast and tea. Even if I wake up early, the toast and tea keeps me from being really productive.

On mornings when I have an Odwalla for breakfast, I am in the Reves Center. I get up early, head to the Marketplace a little before 8:00, pick up my Mo' Beta or C-Monster, then head up the stairs to work for four hours. This has little to do with the Odwalla, I suppose, and more to do with circumstance, but the Odwalla keeps me going until 2:00 before I sit down to actually have food, unless I happen to have a bag of Cheez-Its or some Nilla Wafers (both of which I ran out of at my house recently).

On days when I have nothing, like today, I make the most of my mornings. I woke up a little after 8:00, did three loads of laundry by 10:00, cleaned the kitchen, emptied all of the trashcans in the house, organized my study a little, and was at Swem by 10:40 to begin looking for/researching my topic for my class on Spain's Golden Age. I spent until nearly noon at the library and am now at Reves for my apprenticeship, except they have nearly no work for me today. So I've spent more time researching, plus reading book reviews for my discussion with Professor Homza tomorrow. It's been a very productive morning/early afternoon.

And I didn't eat anything until 1:15.

I'm learning that grad school is an epic battle between health and productivity.

Bummed

I didn't get nearly enough done this weekend, and now I have tons of homework plus tons of class. Today I had a really boring class from 2-5, and I just finished writing paragraph peer reviews, and now I have to go plan a discussion until my next class from 7-10, and then I have to read about 100 pages before bed. Tomorrow I have work from 8 until noon, class from noon-2, work at Bella from 2-6, and then more reading.

I'm so burned out. All I want to do is curl up with a cup of tea and a season of Gilmore Girls. Perhaps with a Hemingway novel, too.

Can it be December 4th yet?

Win Some, Lose Some

I've noticed myself saying the words, "You win some, you lose some," multiple times in the past few days. I've used it in reference to relationships, projects, time management skills, television shows, cooking, and schoolwork. Mostly, I've been losing, and this phrase nicely sums up a "devil-may-care" attitude, if I may quote Luna Lovegood from the latest Harry Potter movie.

World Savvy completely failed. NO ONE showed up. Not a single soul. We decided to reschedule the event for a 4:00 Wednesday or a 5:00 Thursday, and Amy said she would send out an advertisement to the Chinese classes. As we stood there, myself, my supervisors Amy and Laurie, and the three panelists, realizing that we had been stood up by the entire campus, all I could do was shrug it off and say "You win some, you lose some!"

A similar thing occurred yesterday when I tried to cook Trader Joe's clam chowder. It turned out too milky and flavorless. So, you win some, you lose some.

Everytime I have to tell someone new the story of my break-up, I manage a short laugh, shake my head at the absurdity, and say "You win some, you lose some."

Yesterday I walked to the Reves Center in cold, damp weather, which I will have to do again today: You win some, you lose some.

When I realize that it's Friday and I have only written four pages of a ten page paper that I had planned to have completed by Tuesday, I think "Well, you win some, you lose some."

Finally, I the phrase came to mind this morning when I woke up before my alarm with a stuffy nose, clogged sinuses (my ears hurt when I blow my nose) and day full of paper writing, stipend work, and meetings ahead of me. You win some, you lose some.

Really though, I would like to win a little.

EDIT: Last night was sort of a win; I got four pages of my paper written and I got to go to Newport News to visit Shea. We watched "FlashForward," a new show starring Joseph Fiennes, and "The Office" while we pretended to work on papers (she might actually have). So that was nice.

Cozy with Tea

Outside, rain is falling and the world is gray. Inside, I long for the warmth of my bed and a nice cup of tea. Sadly, only the cup of tea part is feasible, as I have to get up and work on a 10 page paper. In the past few days I haven't done nearly enough work. I finished all of my Hoffman reading, finished writing a four page book review, spent hours at the library in order to compose a five page annotated bibliography, made flyers for an event at the Reves Center and posted them all over campus, and then... went shopping. In all fairness, I needed new clothes and it's a good thing I went when I did, as suddenly the temperature has dropped to alarmingly cold lows (well, alarmingly cold by my standards which means high 40s, low 50s). I'm so glad I bought sweaters. But those several hours that I spent at the outlets could well have been filled with outlining a paper about "The People and the Revolution," which I now have hanging over my head.

Also, this afternoon at 3:30 is my first "World Savvy" session, a panel discussion with three WM students who share their insights into another culture, this month featuring China. I have spent the past month organizing it and advertising for it, so wish me luck!

The Best Fall Break Ever, Ironically

It's Fall Break, and as you may have surmised from my last post, I went to Chicago to see my best friends from high school. From the moment the plane landed, it was as if we had been launched into some television show like "Sex and the City" (not that I really like that particular show, but you'll see what I mean).

I got off the plane in Chicago only to realize that Chicago is cold and I had one zip-up hoodie and one cardigan. They were calling for snow. I met Dana and Emily at the baggage claim and greeted them with "It is f-ing COLD here!" Dana is from Minnesota, so she had very little sympathy. It snowed where she lives this weekend. We grabbed a taxi to the hotel, planning to change, grab a quick (cheap) dinner before heading out to Landmark Bar and Grill, but the taxi ride took an hour and a half due to traffic. I hope the cab driver was listening to our conversation. It was so entertaining, especially the part where we devoured a box of Cheez-its and Dana explained that DayQuill made her feel like a balloon (she probably had swine flu). We finally got to the hotel only to be greeted by Emily's ex, Dave. He seemed nice enough.

We walked into our room and immediately were hit in the face with cigarette smoke. Ew. We decided to tough it out for two nights, until we found a little card that said, "This is a non-smoking establishment. If we smell smoke you will be charged $200 damages." Dana called down to the front desk to ensure that we would not be charged for what we hadn't done. The smoke smell persisted for the duration of our stay, and we found an empty pack of cigarettes in the drawer of a nightstand.

Anyways, we changed clothes, Christina Sid came to pick us up with her bf, and he dropped us off at Landmark Grill. Hilarity ensued there, too. Our conversation involved the words "tickle, tickle, kiss, kiss, CROTCH GRAB" which made the table behind us leave, we think, and Charlotte confusing Bernie Mac with Bernie Maydoff (i.e-- "He was a con like Bernie Mac." "Bernie Mac?" "Yeah, you know." "Do you mean Bernie Maydoff?" "Oh... yeah, what's the difference between them again?"). As we sat drinking cocktails, pinot grigio, and eating lots of wonderful appetizers, I texted Mike S. "I miss you!" to which he responded "Thanks." Thanks? I texted back "What are you up to?" A few minutes later he replied, "I don't think I can do this Abigail." I stared at my phone slightly shocked, but honestly not too surprised or disappointed. A little pissed off, given the timing and circumstances, but not heartbroken by any means. Christina Sid noticed I was sitting dumbly staring at my phone and asked me if I was ok.

"I think I just got broken up with via text message." The overwhelming response was "WHAT?" "WHAT AN ASSHOLE!" "ARE YOU OK???" A few text messages later and it became clear that yes, I had just been broken up with. Dana and Emily ordered shots and requested that the DJ play Beyonce's Single Ladies as soon as they had ascertained that I wasn't falling apart and the night continued. We had the biggest yagerbombs I have EVER SEEN (I didn't take mine), a free dessert, a shooter called Oatmeal Cookie, and tons of laughs. Dave was the bartender, so most of our drinks were free, and he ensured that the DJ played all of our requests including Toto's Africa. Emily opted to go home with him (they went to a 4 AM bar) and Dana, Christina, and I got a ride home with Christina's bf. It was an interesting ride. Very much like something that would happen in a TV show, but we got home safely and nothing had to be reported to the bar ;).

The next morning, Dana and I woke up, waited around for Emily, watched The Truman Show and Facebooked. Emily finally showed back up completely hungover. Of course, Dana and I dragged her to The Rainforest Cafe for lunch. For anyone that doesn't see the humor in this, let me explain in two words: animatronic animals. There are charging elephants, loud gorillas, a perpetual waterfall, and thunder storms in the restaurant. Emily was so hungover she couldn't even eat. THEN there were at least NINE birthdays at the tables around our table, each accompanied by all of the waiters clapping and singing. After our food was delivered our waiter, Tony, asked Emily if she felt ok. "I'm hungover at the Rainforest Cafe" she replied. "I'm hungover and I'm working at the Rainforest Cafe," he rejoined.

Meanwhile, Dana couldn't quit dropping f-bombs even though the place was filled with children under the age of 6, and the camera-guy gave Emily some Attitude. That's right, with a capital "A." I thought she was going to smack him.

After lunch, we went back to the hotel to hang out for the afternoon. We watched YouTube videos and generally had a good time, then went out shopping for a bit, then ordered a pizza to the hotel for dinner. Lovely evening. Our friend Aaron dropped by, which was nice. Just before bed, we realized that the Chicago Marathon was the next day, and Dana and I had to do some quick planning to get to the airport. Luckily, the El train was really close to our hotel, so we managed to get to the airport much more quickly than we managed to get to the hotel on the first day.

Now I'm back home in Williamsburg working on papers and reading for the last two days of Fall Break, but goodness, what an amazing time in Chicago!!! I couldn't ask for better friends or a better weekend.

Which is ironic, considering that I got broken up with via text...

I Know the Reason

Tonight, in Chicago with my best friends, we decided to spend the evening at the hotel with pizza and champagne (though we didn't actually get the champagne, so we ended up having tap water instead). We turned on the TV and began to watch Men in Black. This led to a discussion of alien life forms. We talked about the fact that, mathematically speaking, somewhere in this universe there must be other life forms, but whether or not they are smarter or stupider than us is up for grabs. Christina pointed out that if the life forms had visited Earth, or could even see us, it meant that they had superior technology, since we still have no idea if other life forms actually exist. I pointed out that, as per the premise of the movie, it was quite possible that we could see them. In fact, said I, 'tis possible that we have visited them, but that the government has covered it up. We laughed and then Dana said-- "That's it! That's why Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!"

So now we know. Obama saved the planet Earth from intergalactic warfare, perhaps total obliteration, but the Nobel committee cannot disclose the fact. He probably negotiated a peace treaty with a hostile planet and has restored peace to the Universe. That's why he hasn't made much progress in other areas, such as the economy, or the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. He spent nearly his entire first year in office saving Earth from aliens, while trying desperately to pretend that he cared about events happening between Earthly nations. That's hard work. Dissembling for a year while saving the planet must have been difficult. So that's how it happened.

Or, you know, maybe not.

Sweet October

I love October. Hands down this is my favorite month. I would be thrilled if it was always October. It's cool outside, but warm in the sun, and the sky seems bluer than it does in the summer. In October, hot apple cider becomes fashionable, and boots are back in style, and long-sleeved shirts can be worn. I just need to go shopping for said boots and long-sleeved shirts. And so October gives me an excuse to shop! In October, the air feels crisp and clean. Humidity evaporates, and in its place comes stiff winds that rustle fallen leaves in colors of red and gold and orange. October makes me want to go back to elementary school, when I had time to play on the playground and time to get out a coloring book, and time to jump on a trampoline. I love October. This October, though, will be spent mostly inside, I fear. I have much to do before November 9th, and the bulk of it should be completed by Halloween. Still, I'm determined to enjoy as much as I can of the cool sunny days before bleak winter.

The past few weeks have been busy. I have written a prospectus draft, completed peer reviews, written a paper for Hoffman, read more for Hoffman, read more for Homza, begun a book review for Homza, and have begun reading secondary sources for my thesis as well as locating primary sources for said thesis. My thesis adviser is now Professor Whittenburg, so all is right with the world.

In more fun news, last weekend I "English Country Danced" with some VMI cadets and it was hilarious. We had so much fun. I normally hate all dancing, including eighteenth century dance, but this was just so fantastic. I laughed until my sides hurt and made a new friend in the process. Then last night Mike came to visit me and we watched the newest episode of "How I Met Your Mother," made a lovely Trader Joe's dinner, and went to the Leafe for awhile. I hate that we only get to see each other once or twice a week, though. I know I shouldn't complain-- I've been in a far worse long-distance situation-- but it's hard to build up a relationship with someone that you don't see often. We've never had an unbroken day together, and certainly never TWO unbroken days together, which makes things difficult at times.

And finally, tomorrow I leave for Chicago!!!! I am so excited to see Emily, Dana, Charlotte, and Christina! I haven't seen Emily since my 21st, and Dana since sophomore year, and they are two of my very best friends. We have a wonderful schedule of food and wine planned, along with a touch of shopping, so I'm anticipating a wonderful holiday. Except for when I come back and have a ten-page paper and annotated bibliography to complete... but no matter!

I love October.

Happiness is Jumbo Lump Crabcakes

What makes life better after reading about the atrocities committed in Rwanda, Uganda, Sierra Leone, Guinea, and Ghana during the 1990s? What puts a smile on my face after hours of determining whether Maryland's Catholic elite were acting from interest or ideology during the lead-up to the American Revolution?

My boyfriend, arriving at my door in a suit with reservations at an amazing seafood restaurant. I was dressed in leggings, a hoodie, and my Converse, so obviously that had to change-- into my Venetian dress with my Viennese Waltz shoes (the red tapestry ones). I felt beautiful and happy. And I got to try escargot. AND I got Jumbo Lump Crab Cakes. *happy*

The rest of the weekend has passed in a blur of reading... so much reading... interspersed on Saturday with an I.T. show and a few episodes of "How I Met Your Mother." I finally finished everything reading-wise for Hoffman's class this week, though! Now to write the 10-page paper...

A Week's Worth of Fun and Stress

It's been awhile since I've updated, and a great many things have happened, mostly of the good variety. I'm feeling less isolated in the program finally, as people have decided that going out for drinks or to dinner is a fantastic idea that will make everyone so much happier! Last Thursday night a group of us went to the Leafe for drinks. Mostly Americanists showed up, but a few CMA-ers arrived, which was nice. The only awkward bit was that our waiter was a guy that I went on a date with freshman year before realizing what a sketchy bastard he was... I'm pretty sure he recognized me. But oh, well, great way to break the ice with the grad students! After drinks a few of us went out to another bar with karaoke-- always a good time.

Friday night was another night of friends and fun, only this time with I.T. Stephen and I had a few I.T.-ers over for a movie night and got to meet one of the two newbies that we didn't already know. I liked seeing everyone, but it felt a little odd to have them over. Stephen and I both felt old and somewhat out of place. After they left I had reading to do, which put a damper on things and accentuated the 'out of place' feeling. Still, I love I.T.

Saturday, though, came the crowning moment of the weekend!!! Callie had her Pirate Party in Staunton. Mike S. and I went, fully decked as pirates, and had a fantastic time. I haven't seen Callie since Ren Faire, Katie since July, Dez since July, or Annie for an extended period since July, nor have I had rum in ages!!! Or dressed up!!! I love dressing up. Putting on costumes, the liberty to look and be whatever you want no matter how over the top. I had such a good time. Plus, Callie's bf can cook. He made us curry chicken and we had naan bread and rice before the party started. Lovely. All of us girls 'wenched-out' and we watched Muppet Treasure Island and enjoyed friends, laughs, drinks, happiness, being young. I love parties in Staunton.

Sunday, though, I paid. I felt a little hungover in the morning (just a touch) and spent most of the day lazing in Richmond with pizza and football before heading home. Then I had ALL of my reading for Hoffman's class. That took nearly all night before I stopped for a touch of sleep, only to continue reading all morning and early afternoon. I'm still catching up on sleep from that haul. BUT I finished the reading, which is the important part, and was prepared to discuss in class. I actually felt like class went well-- we'll see how this coming week goes-- I'm in charge of leading discussion and writing the 10-page paper. Eeesh. Luckily, before class I got a bit of a break in the form of dinner with Laura! I mentioned to her that the program felt isolating and she agreed. We decided to make Monday night dinners a weekly event to combat isolation, and to hang out some on weekends. We discovered that we both studied abroad in England at the exact same time and we both got to see 1 Henry VI at the RSC! I really like Laura. I hope we get to continue hanging out together. In Anne's words, she's a Kindred Spirit.

That night, of course, I had to continue reading for my Spain class, and I spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday morning reading and compiling an intellectual biography of a historian named Anthony Pagden. Except for when I was at the Reves Center-- where I've been working non-stop to coordinate World Savvy and to finish up processing the Photo Contest information. I swear, this photo contest has taken over my life.

Last night, I went to a concert at the Norva with Mike S. We saw a band called The Decemberists. The show was fantastic-- they were quite theatrical, their songs are lyrically witty, and they had an AMAZING guest female vocalist with them for a performance of their rock-opera The Hazards of Love. We had to stand the whole time like groundlings, which wasn't too bad until near the end when my lower back was really hurting from standing still for four hours. I didn't really notice it, though, when the band was playing, just during the set breaks.

Today has been more reading, plus class. I actually felt encouraged after my meeting with Professor Homza today, though, which was a first. I didn't feel stupid, or like I was so far behind everyone else I'd never catch up. She said that the adjustment from undergrad to grad was hard-- that it was for her, too. That encouraged me, because I really respect her and her work, so if she had trouble at first but is who she is now, maybe I can do it, too. Not that I feel like I can't do the program, just that not having a thesis topic is weighing me down and not having any positive reinforcement from any professional sector really doesn't help.

Anyways, it's essentially the weekend now, just three more hours at the Reves to put in this week, and I'm ready for a good long sleep, followed by finding a thesis topic, followed by eradicating the fruit-flies from the kitchen (which I need Stephen's cooperation to do). 'Twill be a busy weekend of reading, I fear, but hopefully it will have its rewards.

Under Pressure

I'm trying to come up with a thesis topic. I have a hazy start, but nothing solid and it's a problem. I have a prospectus draft due in three weeks with no real plan in sight. I'm thinking of doing something with Harlequin (the Commedia character) and his popularity in English and French theatres in the eighteenth century. Oh God. I feel so behind. Not to mention the massive amounts of reading to be done for Hoffman's class and for Homza's class. And the papers that are all due around the exact same time. *cries*

Can it just be May?

The Never-Ending Story

Yesterday morning I woke up at 7:20 and was reading by 7:30. I read until 8:30, stopped for toast and tea (about 20 minutes) then read until 11:30. I then went to Aroma's for lunch, but was at Swem by 1:00, where I printed off an article to read and picked up a book that might be useful for my thesis. By 2:00 I was back home and reading. And reading. And reading. I had a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner around 6:00, then read some more. I took a break to go over to Mike and Zan's apartment for an hour and a half, then got home and continued reading until midnight. I got up at 8:00 this morning and read until 10, then went to Swem to pick up a book and had grilled cheese for lunch. Now I need to read. Sensing a pattern to my life? I am.

I had an average weekend. Some good things happened, like I.T. got newbies and Megan is my 'little-little,' as far as I.T. goes (she got her shake from the person I gave a shake to). Some not so good things happened. Friday night was relaxing, though. I went to Richmond and Mike S. and I went to a hookah bar, which was nice, and the next day we spent the morning at Hollywood Cemetary. Saturday night I got dinner with Mike M., then read, then went to margarita mug night with some grad students.

I just wish everything in my life felt ordered and nice. I feel like I'm struggling at loose ends right now without a clear direction, but I'm certainly working diligently at whatever it is I'm trying to achieve. :-/

It is Good to Have Friends, Even in Hell

I wish I lived in perpetual weekends. On Saturday I spent hours reading articles and books for my American Revolution class, and I felt so productive and happy. Then Sunday, Mike came to visit and we went to Surry. He had never been across the river on the ferry, nor had he seen Bacon's Castle, which for a WM History graduate (twice over!) is simply unacceptable. It was sunny and beautiful outside, which made for a great drive and a great day. And a great ferry ride-- I love the ferry. It's so nice to cross the James on a pretty afternoon with the river shining in the sun and the wind blowing and the seagulls following the ferry.

But I don't live in perpetual weekends. I live during the week, too. Monday wasn't too bad-- I spent all morning reading, went to class, then spent the evening reading. Tuesday I had to work at the Reves from 8:00-12:00, then class, then reading, then class. I had my American Revolution class, which was rather nerve-wracking, as we eight students discussed the reading for a little over an hour with the professor just listening, and then got a bit of feedback about what we said that was insightful and what was plain wrong at the end. No idea how I am going to do in that class-- Stephen went with me to the Leafe for a drink after. I'm feeling a little tired of reading. I'm feeling a little tired in general. I sense that mostly I will be reading for the rest of the year, until they make me start writing, too. :)

Things could be worse though, and right now isn't too bad. Today I went to visit people in Foodways because I had a present for Jim (an apron that says "I would stop eating chocolate but I'm no quitter") and it was so nice to see everyone, plus Barbara told me her sister is in the theatre in London and if I ever go I should get in contact with her. Then I went to visit Sheri and got scheduled for a few hours at Bella in October, which makes me happy. I have plane tickets to Chicago to visit Emily, Dana, Charlotte, and Christina over Fall Break; I have a wonderful guy in Richmond; I have intellectually stimulating classes; I have professors willing to work on a thesis with me; I have a cute warm little cat; I have a fantastic roommate. I think that all of these things will be necessary to keep me at equilibrium this year. Life is piecing itself together.

And I Know You're Dying In This Open Space

I feel out of place again. I feel caught between two worlds. I'm a graduate student, but I'm at my undergrad institution. Some of my best friends are still in undergrad, and I want to hang out with them, especially since I don't know many graduate students, but I don't want to be a part of that world in the same way that I was. I feel out of place with them-- I'm a part of the College still, but I'm not in college. The friends I have in undergrad have their own dramas, their own schedules, their own set of activities that I am no longer a part of, nor should I be. We went to the first I.T Show tonight and it was the oddest feeling to sit and watch a show instead of performing in it; the show brought home the fact that I've graduated, but I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm pretty thrilled to no longer have to deal with undergraduate life. At the same time, I feel out of place with the graduate students. Most of them are married or have taken time off and are older, or they are far more conservative and studious than I am. Several of them seem to want only a professional relationship with the rest of us, like we're all working in an office or something instead of being students with ideas who should get together and discuss our work and our interests. I only see a few of them that I have a chance of being close with, and with all of the reading they have given us I don't even know if I'll get that chance.

I feel too old with my undergrad friends, too young with the graduate students.

Perhaps things will look up in a few weeks, after a few more classes with everyone, after people decide on their thesis and their advisers. Maybe then we can get to know each other, go to the movies, get more than a few drinks some Friday night... but until then I feel uncertain of where I belong. Even my closest friendships seem rocky at times, and one of my best friends has completely faded into oblivion as far as I can tell.

Furthermore, I feel thoroughly confused by my responsibilities to the program. I know I need to pick out a thesis and find a thesis director and committee members, but no one has said when that needs to happen, or what a thesis director should do for me, or what I should do for them. No one has given me much guidance on what should go into my thesis or what types of sources I should use. I passed the language exam, thankfully, so I at least have that requirement down, but I feel like I shouldn't feel as lost as I do and I don't know who to talk to, or even what questions I want to ask. I also feel like maybe I'm taking the wrong classes for the wrong reasons-- I thought I didn't need the historiography class, but now I feel like to meet people and make friends I should be there, and I thought I wanted to do something with Spain but that's all fallen apart so maybe I shouldn't be in a class about Spain. Everything I read I question why I need to read it and what it will do for my thesis, or even I need it to tie into my thesis. I'm worried that what I've always conceptualized as history isn't what they want me to do here; the articles I've read on transnational history and comparative history seem less like the history that I love and more like the cultural studies that I put up with in undergrad. Then I wonder if maybe I'm just a closed-minded person. I feel like I'm all alone spinning around and around getting dizzy and sick, but I don't know how to stop spinning.

My Addiction and Other Stories

I have a very expensive habit. I know I don't need it, I know I can be just as happy in my life without it, that I can get the same feeling from cheaper alternatives, but I can't help it. I'm hopelessly addicted to Odwalla drinks. I love their C and Strawberry C monsters, their Blueberry B monsters, their Mo' Betas. I could buy a gallon of orange juice at Wawa for the same cost as one precious bottle of Odwalla, but there's something about the Odwalla that I can't stop. Maybe it's getting 1000% of my Vitamin C in a single sitting, and in less liquid than regular juice, or maybe it's having a healthy energy rush from my Blueberry B on those days when I'm feeling sluggish. Maybe it's knowing that the Mo' Beta will cure my cold far faster than your average chicken noodle soup (though I love chicken noodle soup, don't get me wrong-- if I ever get sick bring me hot chicken noodle soup and I will love you forever, especially if it's homemade or Wawa). But I can't stop the Odwalla. I tried to today; I said, no I will get vitamin water with these chips that I am buying at the Marketplace, but the Odwalla cooler called to me...

Currently I'm at the Reves Center, where I work for my stipend. Right now it's a touch slow because I'm waiting for people to respond to the e-mails that I sent them. I'm in charge of setting up Global Jobs, World Savvy, writing articles for our website, and sending out the weekly newsletter to our listserv. I'm also supposed to coordinate with Phi Beta Delta, the international honor society, to help them run International Music and Dance Event in November, so I'm waiting to hear back about Kimball dates for that. I think this job is going to make me lots of connections and give me real life "skillz," at it were. Or maybe just skills. At least I will be able to safely say I've worked in an office job that actually required that I do something besides make copies (though I may have to do that, too).

As to the first impressions of graduate school, I think it will be difficult, yet I am already imagining that day when I type the last word of my thesis, save it to both the desktop and a USB disc and e-mail to myself (I refuse to lose my thesis), and then triumphantly shut my computer, take a long hot shower, then head to the Leafe for a pint. Or head to somewhere for a pint, if I don't get it done by the end of August. What I'm trying to say is, it's going to be hard, stressful, there will be tears and mini-breakdowns, but ultimately I think it will be fulfilling. I'm a little behind in reading because I couldn't keep my mind away from contemplating thesis topics yesterday afternoon, instead of doing my actual reading for my classes, but I can pretty easily catch up I think-- and the good news is, I did come up with a thesis topic.

My topic involves the Whigs and the American and French revolutions, definitely Charles James Fox, perhaps others, and I couldn't be happier. I was trying to go in a different direction earlier, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I love the 18th century. I love the Tudors, too, but I don't want to do anything with Tudor politics (it's all be done), and the 18th century seems less tapped into in many ways. The Whigs are like my friends-- they make me laugh, they make me cry (literally) and when I read about them I am never bored. From their crazy gambling antics to their political protests they led interesting lives and I feel as if I am a part of it when I read primary sources or good secondary sources (Leslie, Amanda Foreman). I e-mailed one of my professors about the topic and am going to get coffee with him soon to discuss it's viability, but this is like the Kermit the Frog paper-- if anyone tries to discourage me I am ready to prove them wrong. I may need to shapeshift the topic a bit, narrow it or broaden it, but I will study my Whigs.

For tonight though, I'm going to Richmond to relax with Mike, gumbo, and a movie, before seriously considering Spain's Golden Fleece or the 'problems of transnational history'.

Hello Sphinx!

I has a kitty! Sphinx has come to Williamsburg to live with me and Stephen. Now that Kelly is gone, with the way my parents travel, it seemed cruel to leave him all alone. So today my parents brought him to me! I e-mailed the people I'm leasing from and they said it was fine if I had him live here, even though my lease says no pets-- so yay! So far he hasn't come out from behind a filing cabinet, but I'm sure in a few hours he will start to feel more comfortable, and in a few days he will feel at home.

In other news, graduate school has started in full force. I had my first class on Thursday, and about two books of reading due for it by Tuesday. I had a language exam on Friday and I'm anxiously awaiting my results which could be found out anytime between Monday and two week from Monday. We had a graduate student/faculty picnic Friday evening and I got to meet a lot of great people, and then Saturday morning a group of us went to the Farmer's Market and Aroma's. I bought a sunflower and named her Violet for the irony. There are some really great people in the program and I can't wait until I feel like things are more under control and I can actully get to know them.

But I haven't abandoned my golden friends (one is silver and the other gold). Friday evening I went over to Kacey and Megan's for a small party of watching The Room and playing Twilight the Board Game. It was a really fun time-- I'm so grateful that I have some of my best friends still only a short walk from my home. Plus, good things befell my friends that night as several of them got cast as major roles in the mainstage shows!

Alright, back to the books!

Goodbye, Kelly-Cat

Yesterday I took Kelly to the vet to have her put to sleep. It was one of the harder things I've had to do. Kay went with me, which helped tremendously, but having to say good-bye to a cat that I have known and loved since I was six years old was really difficult. She had such beautiful green eyes. She loved being outside, even though she was an indoor cat. Sometimes, if I was lying on the floor, she would come up to me and roll around in my hair. She would paw at my shoes to say hello when I walked in the door. She would curl up on my bed at night and get cranky if I moved and disturbed her. She liked to lay on my lap when I was at the keyboard and sometimes she would help me type e-mails :). She used to play fetch when she was a kitten. She purred more than any other cat that I know of. Her full name was Kelly The Calico Cat Calvert Fine. We called her Kelly-Cat, or Kelly Pretty Kitty, or Kells-Bells most of the time. I will really miss her.

Time to Bring Out the Africa

I'm feeling stressed. When this happens, as it so usually does a few days before class, I bring out the movie Out of Africa, put on comfy pants, and make a cup of tea. This may be the night.

I'm trying to straighten things out with keeping the Bella job still, and I really hope that goes smoothly. Then I got my syllabi for some of my classes, and they expect me to read four books a week or so. Literally. My house still needs some pictures put up, my study needs organization, my computer is old and I need to put my external hard drive onto a different computer, except first I need to GET a different computer, I have no groceries, and orientation this morning was boring and pointless.

To top everything off, my cat is dying. I've had her since I was in first grade, and her kidneys are shutting down. My mom called this morning to tell me. The vet said it's a hopeless case. We will be putting her down within the week. I'm driving up on Wednesday to say good-bye to her; hopefully she will still be alive then, but she isn't eating and has no energy at all.

It's Out of Africa night.

Harvest is Ended

"Harvest is ended, and summer is gone," quoted Anne Shirley.

It certainly is. Today is my last day of summer, although I'm spending it working at Bella. Tomorrow I have orientation for all graduate students, and Tuesday morning a history department orientation. But the Anne Shirley quote is appropriate, as my mother and I just got back from Prince Edward Island a few days ago. We had a beautiful time; we saw two Anne musicals, visited Green Gables, the L.M. Montgomery Museum and Birthplace, took a Matthew's Carriage Ride, and spent a day at Avonlea Village (a bit like Rev City, except with Anne of Green Gables). We ate Beavertails and Cow's Ice Cream, and we wore our Anne Hats, complete with red braids. We had lobster dinners for cheap, and took a coastal drive all over the East side of the Island. We went to a sketch comedy show geared towards Canadians (we got about half of the jokes). We had quality time that we've been missing this summer with me living away from home permanently... how odd to think. We saw stars-- oh, the stars! I've never seen so many in my life, I don't think, not even in Jefferson City! I could see the Milky Way, even! The weather was cool and clear. It reminded me of October, which made me long for autumn, though not for school.

Speaking of which, I kind of have classes picked out. It's been a bit of a mess, because one of the required courses for my MA program I took as an undergrad, and there seems to be no point in repeating it, but I have to get it officially waived before I can pick out a second elective, though I easily found two electives that I would love to take-- The Golden Age in Spain, and readings in the American Revolution. The last class came highly recommended. I suppose everything will be sorted by Wednesday (it must be!), but it has been stressful already. Plus, they told me that without approval I cannot keep my job at Bella and have a stipend, so I'm waiting to hear back on that. I really want to keep this job. Although, I have a feeling I will have a very full schedule even without it, so I guess it's really up to what the dean decides. My schedule has gotten even fuller with these frequent trips to Richmond, and God-willing they will continue. :)

In other news, Stephen has moved in, so I have a roommate officially! I think we will have lots of fun, plus he gave me lunch today which was much appreciated-- chicken and mashed potatoes. I certainly didn't have time to cook anything, or any food in the house to cook, so it was good of him to give me food. It's very nice, though, to come home to someone in the house and to settle into an hour of talking and laughing. Much better than being alone all of the time.

And that's about it. Tomorrow I begin the big adventure of graduate school, meeting new students, learning about new requirements, and trying to get back into the academic swing of things. Hasn't this summer flown, yet seemed so interminably long? Looking back to beach week I think that must have been a decade ago, yet the fact that classes are starting again has taken me by surprise.

I suppose alot has happened. I went to lunch with my friend Courtney the other day and he said, "Do you feel as if we've been expected to really grow up alot in these past three months? More than at any other time?" and I think he's right. At graduation I still had that shelter and mantle of childhood, but now-- now I'm a viable adult, a supposedly contributing member of society. Of course, I'm still in school, but I don't have to be and graduate school is so much different from undergrad. Only three months ago things were so incredibly different: much heartache hadn't been suffered, many responsibilities hadn't fallen onto my shoulders, and my closest friends were always no more than a short walk from my bedroom. Not that it's been a bad summer-- in fact, I feel much happier now than I did at graduation. But it's been a summer of learning and growing and adapting and adjusting, and while the outcome has been positive, these are hard times, and I have no doubt that they will only get worse before they get better. Not worse-- that's not the word I want-- I have no doubt that things will only get more challenging before I find my stride. But it's there. I've caught glimpses of what I want from life, and those glimpses are enough for me to keep going on. Maktub.

Highlights

So, I haven't posted in a long time so I'll give you a run-down of the highlights of the past few weeks, in mostly chronological order.

*Saw Art at VSF with my mom! The show was good, though the actors weren't the best I've ever seen. They weren't bad, but the script had much more potential than they lived up to. We saw God of Carnage in London last year, a play by the same playwright, and the scripts had a similar feel-- both start out innocously and then reveal human nature underneath it all. Except that the God of Carnage actors included Ralph Fiennes, so the acting was a notch better. Still, it was so good to see a play again!

*Got to see Katie Crandol! We got some drinks and talked late into the night. It was so nice to catch up with her. I need to get to Staunton to see her and Callie again soon.

*Quit my job at the Wren! It's over, and I never have to go back. I'm still working at Bella, though, and I've been going to my internship at CW. Although that ends on Wednesday. And I have to return my colonial clothes. :( The internship has been great. Bella lately has been slow. I love it, but slow days suck. Plus, we just got in a lot of new pretty things and I want to buy them all, but I can't due to finances. But if I could... oh, if I could. Sitting there looking at them all day with nothing else pressing to do is divine torture.

*My pre-birthday, birthday, and birthday party! The day before my birthday I saw Mike M. and he gave me Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on DVD and made a great dinner. On my actual birthday I got to hang out with Mike S. and got How I Met Your Mother Season 2 and got to make crabcakes and potato balls and drink wine. 'Twas lovely. Then my birthday party!!!!! Kacey hosted a party at her place and we had drinks and played Apples to Apples during the afternoon. Kacey and Kay and I also made Funfetti Cupcakes to share with the group, though we ate a fair amount of the batter split between the three of us. That night, went to the White Dog for dinner. I had a half-duckling in maple glaze with mashed potatoes. SO TASTY!

*Got a facial at the Spa!

*Watched lots of How I Met Your Mother with Mike S. I am seriously addicted to this show. It might become a problem once I'm supposed to be paper-writing.

*Got to see Dez! He was in Williamsburg, so we got dinner and talked and it was wonderful.

So that's that! The past few weeks in a very short post.