Last Hurrahs

This weekend signaled the beginning of the end.  Suddenly, everything feels like the last time.  My last official day of classes.  My last frustrating attempt to print in the grad lounge.  The last time I double-click to open my document entitled "English Masters Thesis" (at least for awhile).  

We had our English MA end-of-the-year party on Saturday, at the same place that we had one of our first beginning-of-the-year parties back in late August.  As we piled BBQ pork, burgers, macaroni salad, and more onto the small table in the dining area, I couldn't help but remember just eight months ago when we set it with home-made lasagna, garlic bread, and salad.  Then, Thomas did all of the cooking as we second-years greeted each other after a long summer apart and began to get to know the first-years.  Then, we all still brimmed with the excitement that comes with the first week of classes, and we gave each other knowing, exasperated sighs as we contemplated the months of thesis-writing ahead of us.  Now, we ask each other about our after-graduation plans, speaking of the far-flung places we'll land, the jobs we want and the jobs we got, and excitedly talk about the moment that we officially submitted our theses and capstones.  I submitted mine on Thursday. 

In three weeks, we will graduate and my cohort will disperse to Germany, England, Michigan, and Massachusetts.  Still others have plans in California, New Hampshire, and Ohio.  Our close-knit little community is breaking apart and once again I feel like Jo March, saddened by all of the change, by a chapter closing.  But now, like Jo, it's time to start realizing some of my own life-long goals.  It's also time to banish fear of failure (or, perhaps, to learn to work with that fear), and to learn to accept that not every path to fulfillment has clear-cut mile markers.  But that's a post for another time.

At the moment, I think there's nothing wrong with reveling in a few more weeks of last hurrahs.

Library Haul

What to do when your apartment becomes a film studio for your MFA-degree seeking partner?  Escape to your parents house!  At least, that's what I did.  Zan is in the midst of a crazy season of final projects, so to get out of his hair I spent the last weekend in Williamsburg.  Three beautiful days of relaxing walks down DoG Street, dinners at La Tolteca and the pub, and some time spent in The Shoe Attic with Brittany.  But the best part of this particular weekend was going to the library to pick out books to read for fun.  Have I mentioned how much I love the public library?  I love its wide windows, its study carrels, its wall of DVDs and audiobooks, but most of all-- I love the children's section.  I never fail to find amazing reads in the children's section (I also enjoy overhearing children picking out new books and discovering what will probably be a life-long love of reading).  I truly believe that some of the best books in the world are housed in that children's section, so often overlooked by so many adults.  So, on this particular visit, I picked out a nice selection of books to see me through the spring, and perhaps to inspire a little bit of my own writing.

Someone is on your side

The weather has finally turned genuinely spring-like.  The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, the past couple of mornings I've only needed to don a light jacket before heading out to work, and the other day I spent a lovely afternoon on our balcony eating cherries, almonds, and goat cheese with honey while listening to a new podcast that had Elizabeth Gilbert as the special guest for the week.  Looking forward to the next one, with Lin Manuel Miranda as the guest!  Very inspiring.  My thesis is, for all intents and purposes, complete.  I have finished my rewrites, my adviser has signed off on everything, and all that remains to do is to upload the document to the graduate school via electronic submission.  Since I'm only auditing one course, I have no final papers or anything.  The freedom is intoxicating.  And overwhelming.  The world is such a wide, varied place, and I don't know how to soak it in to its utmost, nor how to contribute in the most productive way.  Sometimes it's paralyzing.

Yet, even as I wrestle with this, I am reminded of the fragility of life, and strive to be grateful for each day, each breath, each moment that I spend simply being.  The past week has served to remind me what an amazing group of people I have in my life.  My undergraduate improv troupe lost of one of our members.  The news knocked the wind out of me.  I.T. is like a family.  When I was in college, they were the people with whom I spent at least three nights a week.  We had Date Parties, Secret Santa, Improvathon, Fall Tour...  and that feeling of family extends to the alumni.  We still welcome the newbies with e-mails, even years out of college.  We return for homecoming shows and alumni hours.  If the people in I.T. with me were my siblings, those in I.T. now are like my cousins.  The outburst of support and love that has issued this week from members who graduated as long ago as fifteen years, five years, and those still in undergrad has been incredible.  Since Monday morning, the song "No One is Alone" from Into the Woods has been going round and round in my head.  This is for anyone struggling with depression.

 

Ayegazoomba, Paul.  Ayegazoomba, I.T.

Book List Update

Although I no longer keep a sidebar list, I still think it's nice to periodically stop to remember what I've read this year.  Since my last update, I've read mostly American Girl books.  Yes, I'm too old for them.  No, that doesn't stop me from enjoying them or learning from them.  Each book takes about 35 or 45 minutes to read, so I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something in a short period of time.

As rewards for finishing various stages of my thesis, I've read two Kit mysteries: Midnight in Lonesome Hollow and Intruders at Rivermead Manor.  I really loved these, and Midnight in Lonesome Hollow re-sparked an interest in Appalachian culture, anthropology and folklife, and also (tangentially) the history of Shenandoah National Park.  Once upon a time Zan and I were thinking of writing a film about the Great Depression and the National Parks.  I hope to spend some time doing more in-depth research on this stuff once I've officially submitted my thesis. Then, over Spring Break, I wrote around 20 pages of my thesis-- in order to wind down at night (or, actually 2:30 AM or later), I read most of the Rebecca series over the course of the week (Meet Rebecca, Rebecca and Ana, Candlelight for Rebecca, Rebecca and the Movies, Rebecca to the Rescue). 

In addition to American Girl books, I've nearly finished Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (as an audiobook) and I'm about halfway through reading Shades of Milk and Honey by Mary Robinette Kowal (as a print book).  Also--not a book, but-- I listened to the first season of a BBC Radio One show called Cabin Pressure which is hilarious.  It stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Roger Allam, John Finnemore, and Stephanie Cole.  I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a lighthearted sitcom to enjoy whilst cooking dinner or during the morning commute.

So, certainly not the book list I would like to see if I were keeping a sidebar.  A series of books aimed at nine-year-olds?  A radio show (that's not even a book!!!)?  And so little reading, in general!*  But, that's why I got rid of my widget.  These are media that I've highly enjoyed, fluff and all.  And it's what I've needed in the past two months.  Since mid-February I've felt that my world has mostly gone sour, and these little stories have really stood out as bright spots in the dreary landscape.



*Of course, I have written about 80 pages of my thesis since my last update, and have read quite a bit for that-- although, not full books, so that doesn't "count."  I've also managed to Rosetta Stone a little nearly every day, which is about the only thing keeping me sane.

EDIT on 4/18/15: I forgot to mention that I also read Tina Fey's Bossypants and I really enjoyed it.

large matters and small

The past two months have been rough.  The last two weeks have been worse.  My grandmother passed away.  We found out that our cat, Rhett, has irreversible kidney failure and (separately) we had to take him for an enema, which is never pretty.  A thing I really hoped would happen for Zan didn't happen.  All that, plus a few other small disappointments here and there in the last fourteen or so days, have left me feeling all-over-tired and just generally a little sad.  I need something genuinely good to occur: a job offer perhaps, or just one full day that feels like I am truly 'off,' without needing to complete minor rewrites, or read for the class I'm auditing.  I'd like just a day in which to sit outside in the newly spring-like weather and read for fun, or cross-stitch a new pattern, or color in a coloring book, or even just nap.

I did pass my thesis defense on Wednesday, though!  So things could always be worse.