My brother died yesterday. And what more can I say? He was the best big brother in the whole wide world when I was little. He always played with me, while other girls complained that their older brothers were mean to them. He bought me my first ever CD that was all my own: a 98 Degrees album. He taught me who Bart Simpson was. He came to pick me up from camp and we gushed over the new Eve 6 song back in, oh, 1999 or 2000. He played on the high school basketball team and when I was little we went to all the games, just like most everyone in town. My friends and I would crawl around under the bleachers and run amok at concessions and I always felt so cool because my brother was on the basketball team. Then we lost touch for various reasons, and haven't been close in years. I honestly don't remember the last time we spoke to each other. Not that there was any malice between us, just no communication. And now he's gone. And I'll never have another older brother ever again.
We're going to Jefferson City for the funeral early next week. I will finally get to meet his two children, my nephew and niece. My friend Emily said she would come be with me, so hopefully I will get to see her and that will help. I just feel kind of numb.
This has been a harsh summer, first Uncle Jeff, now Cal. Both silly, senseless deaths brought on by an illness that no one thought was too severe. Just when they both seemed to be getting stronger, both health-wise and life-wise. They say things come in threes and now I'm waiting with a sense of foreboding for the other shoe to drop.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
How To Spot A Graduate Student
She will be leaving the library on a Saturday morning-- in the middle of summer-- carrying two totebags full of books, each destined for her already-full bookshelf. There, she will place them all alongside some twenty other books relating to her to research. All but one: Absence and Memory in Colonial American Theatre: Fiorelli's Plaster.
She will read that one first.
Thesis, here I come.
She will read that one first.
Thesis, here I come.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
48 Hour Film Festival
This past weekend I helped out Zan, Thomas, Annie, and Steven with their 48 Hour Film project, which meant very little sleep, but very much fun... and a bit of dehydration. Our genre was comedy, we had to have a character named Dwight Williams who was a party planner, and we had to include the line "How do I look?" They ended up writing a very funny comedy about a boy who decides he doesn't want to be Mormon anymore just before his first mission trip, and who goes out searching for himself only to discover everyone must follow their own heart, whether they want to be Mormons, sleeping, or 'materialists'. The movie is called Latter Days, you can watch it on Youtube if you click here.
We were right on schedule all night Friday/Saturday and into Sunday morning (by which point I had finally managed to lay down for sleep, though Zan, Tom, Steven, and Annie were still hard at work), but somehow things slowed up a bit on Sunday. We had planned to leave for Richmond by 5:30 or so at the latest, as the film was due back in Richmond by 7:30, but we didn't have the film ready to go until 6:00. The problem was, that version of the film had a poor aspect ratio and we needed to re-export and compress it, and then re-burn it. Would we have time???
So, I took the poor aspect ratio version and headed up to Richmond at 6:00. Except the traffic was horrendous and I didn't end up getting to the movie drop point until shortly after 7:00. I waited nervously hoping for the rest of the team to show up with the correct aspect ratio version of the film, but they didn't... and didn't... so I turned in the poor aspect ratio version at 7:17. They accepted it, and marked it on time, and shortly before 8:00 Zan and Steven came in with the forms and paperwork necessary, and the good version of the film. We're pretty sure they are going to screen the poor aspect ratio version, though, which is kind of sucky, especially since literally the ONLY difference in the two copies is the aspect ratio, but at least we got a version in on time!!!
We had dinner at The Village Cafe in Richmond, had a very interesting waiter who recommended against getting the falafel, then drove back to Williamsburg, and promptly collapsed into a nice long sleep.
We were right on schedule all night Friday/Saturday and into Sunday morning (by which point I had finally managed to lay down for sleep, though Zan, Tom, Steven, and Annie were still hard at work), but somehow things slowed up a bit on Sunday. We had planned to leave for Richmond by 5:30 or so at the latest, as the film was due back in Richmond by 7:30, but we didn't have the film ready to go until 6:00. The problem was, that version of the film had a poor aspect ratio and we needed to re-export and compress it, and then re-burn it. Would we have time???
So, I took the poor aspect ratio version and headed up to Richmond at 6:00. Except the traffic was horrendous and I didn't end up getting to the movie drop point until shortly after 7:00. I waited nervously hoping for the rest of the team to show up with the correct aspect ratio version of the film, but they didn't... and didn't... so I turned in the poor aspect ratio version at 7:17. They accepted it, and marked it on time, and shortly before 8:00 Zan and Steven came in with the forms and paperwork necessary, and the good version of the film. We're pretty sure they are going to screen the poor aspect ratio version, though, which is kind of sucky, especially since literally the ONLY difference in the two copies is the aspect ratio, but at least we got a version in on time!!!
We had dinner at The Village Cafe in Richmond, had a very interesting waiter who recommended against getting the falafel, then drove back to Williamsburg, and promptly collapsed into a nice long sleep.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sugar Doll
Just finished a 48 Hour Film Competition, literally 3 hours ago, and I will update all about that when I have had a bit more sleep and have downloaded some pictures to share, but for this quick post I just want to thank Paisleys and Sugar for passing on this award to me!
The award rules are to thank the person who gave it to you, write ten things about yourself, and then award it to 10 blogs you recently discovered and think are fantastic, then notify those bloggers to tell them that you awarded them.
1) Shakespeare. Love it. Him?
2) I have a cat named Sphinx. He kills wasps. And plays fetch.
3) When I was little I collected Beanie Babies and kept them in a huge 'condominium' made of shoe holders. Each Beanie Baby had their own 'condo.'
4) I have a weakness for beautiful shoes and dresses, especially sundresses.
5) I love to travel, anywhere and everywhere (especially in the UK).
6) I go to Disney World a bit too much-- seriously, it's like a second home.
7) I worked in a lingerie shop, just like my best friend, Kay.
8) I have been involved in theatre since I was 6, but I don't want to act professionally.
9) My biggest sadness in life is that I never got pointe shoes in ballet (although everyone says that my feet probably thank me).
10) I'm a huge bookworm. My happiest days are spent reading fiction, completely absorbed, until I look at the clock and realize a whole day has passed blissfully by.
Other blogs to award:
The Van Gogh Cafe
Budget Blonde
Peonies and Polaroids
... I can't think of more at the moment, so these will do!
But yay! Thank you Paisleys and Sugar!
Ok, well, bedtime for me! More on the 48 Hour Film Festival to come!
The award rules are to thank the person who gave it to you, write ten things about yourself, and then award it to 10 blogs you recently discovered and think are fantastic, then notify those bloggers to tell them that you awarded them.
1) Shakespeare. Love it. Him?
2) I have a cat named Sphinx. He kills wasps. And plays fetch.
3) When I was little I collected Beanie Babies and kept them in a huge 'condominium' made of shoe holders. Each Beanie Baby had their own 'condo.'
4) I have a weakness for beautiful shoes and dresses, especially sundresses.
5) I love to travel, anywhere and everywhere (especially in the UK).
6) I go to Disney World a bit too much-- seriously, it's like a second home.
7) I worked in a lingerie shop, just like my best friend, Kay.
8) I have been involved in theatre since I was 6, but I don't want to act professionally.
9) My biggest sadness in life is that I never got pointe shoes in ballet (although everyone says that my feet probably thank me).
10) I'm a huge bookworm. My happiest days are spent reading fiction, completely absorbed, until I look at the clock and realize a whole day has passed blissfully by.
Other blogs to award:
The Van Gogh Cafe
Budget Blonde
Peonies and Polaroids
... I can't think of more at the moment, so these will do!
But yay! Thank you Paisleys and Sugar!
Ok, well, bedtime for me! More on the 48 Hour Film Festival to come!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Let the beauty we love be what we do
My new Canon Rebel T1i and I are at the beginning of a long, close relationship. I've read the instruction manual, I've relearned what I knew from photography class in high school, and I am beginning to re-understand f-stops and aperture, and shutter speeds. I'm learning about each of the different settings on my new camera; I can shoot in black and white, portrait, landscape, and continuously; I can manually change the focus and the f-stop and the shutter speed. I'm beginning to understand the concept of ISO.
I'm not perfect yet, might not ever be, and digital is actually quite different from film (which is how I learned, back in photography class). I miss my dark room, and my chemical trays, and my little box for developing film but... But I like it. I like like it. Canon Rebel T1i and I are falling in love, I daresay. It responds so beautifully and takes such wonderful pictures, such wonderful quality. Here are a few that I've taken so far.
I'm also quite enamored with my acrylic paints: I painted three pictures in a day and a half, although only one really took much time. And I plan to continue! I have six canvases left to fill and ideas abound!
Now if only I could make myself concentrate on my thesis...
I'm not perfect yet, might not ever be, and digital is actually quite different from film (which is how I learned, back in photography class). I miss my dark room, and my chemical trays, and my little box for developing film but... But I like it. I like like it. Canon Rebel T1i and I are falling in love, I daresay. It responds so beautifully and takes such wonderful pictures, such wonderful quality. Here are a few that I've taken so far.
I'm also quite enamored with my acrylic paints: I painted three pictures in a day and a half, although only one really took much time. And I plan to continue! I have six canvases left to fill and ideas abound!
Now if only I could make myself concentrate on my thesis...
Monday, July 12, 2010
But oh, those summer nights
Williamsburg and Staunton and D.C. form nearly a perfect equilateral triangle which I find myself traveling more and more. From Williamsburg to Staunton, to see Callie and Katie on Saturday, and the YCTC shows on Sunday while Zan and Mike filmed. Then a summer supper, eaten by the pool as the sun set, and later a fireworks show that caught us completely by surprise while the faint sounds of bluegrass music could be heard from the house. And for once, for just a second, I felt like I had hold of the moment. I was living right in the present, my mind completely focused on the fireworks and the summer air and the dogs barking and the bugs biting my legs and holding Zan's hand. I didn't think of my thesis, or how I wanted/needed to find a creative streak, or anything at all but how odd it is that human's are fascinated by sparkling light, and for most of the time I wasn't even thinking of that just that I love being alive and we live in such a wonderful world, don't we?
Then today to D.C., because I have a minor outpatient surgery tomorrow to remove a cyst on my back (whoo fun!) and my doctor is here not Williamsburg. But that's ok, because if I hadn't come here I wouldn't have bought myself small canvases and acrylic paints and realized that I have a thousand ideas and need to buy more canvas. I now have an amazingly good DSLR camera and a head full of ideas for painting. My images are back, now I just need my words.
EDIT: I officially changed the URL. It deleted all of the comments on my posts, but no worries I saved them to my hard drive so I'll never forget them. :)
EDIT 2: I think the comments are back!!!
Then today to D.C., because I have a minor outpatient surgery tomorrow to remove a cyst on my back (whoo fun!) and my doctor is here not Williamsburg. But that's ok, because if I hadn't come here I wouldn't have bought myself small canvases and acrylic paints and realized that I have a thousand ideas and need to buy more canvas. I now have an amazingly good DSLR camera and a head full of ideas for painting. My images are back, now I just need my words.
EDIT: I officially changed the URL. It deleted all of the comments on my posts, but no worries I saved them to my hard drive so I'll never forget them. :)
EDIT 2: I think the comments are back!!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Title Change
I have changed the title of my blog to "Abigail and the Great World."
(Formerly "Abigail and the Real World")
This change comes after long deliberation, from wanting to completely overhaul the theme of the blog to feeling scared to make any change at all. Yet, the word 'real' didn't seem to fit my life. That's not to say that 'real world' things never happen-- I do things like pay bills, get my car inspected and stickers up to date, wait for someone to come fix the garbage disposal, and price compare when grocery shopping to keep within my budget-- but perhaps the real world does not actually exist, or if it does, I've not lived in it and hopefully never will.
I just see so much beauty, joy, and everyday-magic. It's everywhere! Life is usually not dull, or tedious, or even nerve-wracking the way I imagined 'the real world.' There are moments, of course, of tedium or feeling blue because that dress on Anthropologie.com costs too much; there is sadness, too, and sometimes anger, both in my personal life and at things like the oil spill, politics, and war.
Generally, though, I just see abundant goodness in humanity and nature.
So, "Abigail and the Great World." The title was inspired by one of my favorite Betsy-Tacy books, Betsy and the Great World. After she finishes school, Betsy travels abroad to the 'Great World' to experience life. Though I have a thesis to finish, I'm essentially done with school-- for the first time in my life I won't be returning to class in the fall. It's time for me to experience my own 'Great World.'
And the Betsy-Tacy series has always given me such hope and comfort. No matter what happens, whether it's losing the writing contest, cooking a terrible meal for Joe, or finding herself friendless in a foreign country, Betsy picks herself up and carries on, always pursuing her dreams unflaggingly. She always believes in herself and her potential. She has such deep and true friendships, something I count myself lucky to have also, and Betsy never lets things get her down for long before she discovers something beautiful about the world. She certainly never lived in any 'real world.'
And for that matter, I don't think the author, Maud Hart Lovelace, ever really lived in a 'real world,' either. No matter what occurred, Maud could turn it into a lovely story, taking both victories and disasters and turning them into a celebration of life. She seems to have had such a rose-tinted spirit: she saw so much good in the world and in humanity, even as she lived through two World Wars.
Anyone who knows me well can attest to the impact these books have made in my life, and it only seems fitting that I should do them homage. So, welcome once again to my life, now "Abigail and the Great World."
(In other news, I got a Canon Rebel! So excited for photography!)
(Formerly "Abigail and the Real World")
This change comes after long deliberation, from wanting to completely overhaul the theme of the blog to feeling scared to make any change at all. Yet, the word 'real' didn't seem to fit my life. That's not to say that 'real world' things never happen-- I do things like pay bills, get my car inspected and stickers up to date, wait for someone to come fix the garbage disposal, and price compare when grocery shopping to keep within my budget-- but perhaps the real world does not actually exist, or if it does, I've not lived in it and hopefully never will.
I just see so much beauty, joy, and everyday-magic. It's everywhere! Life is usually not dull, or tedious, or even nerve-wracking the way I imagined 'the real world.' There are moments, of course, of tedium or feeling blue because that dress on Anthropologie.com costs too much; there is sadness, too, and sometimes anger, both in my personal life and at things like the oil spill, politics, and war.
Generally, though, I just see abundant goodness in humanity and nature.
So, "Abigail and the Great World." The title was inspired by one of my favorite Betsy-Tacy books, Betsy and the Great World. After she finishes school, Betsy travels abroad to the 'Great World' to experience life. Though I have a thesis to finish, I'm essentially done with school-- for the first time in my life I won't be returning to class in the fall. It's time for me to experience my own 'Great World.'
And the Betsy-Tacy series has always given me such hope and comfort. No matter what happens, whether it's losing the writing contest, cooking a terrible meal for Joe, or finding herself friendless in a foreign country, Betsy picks herself up and carries on, always pursuing her dreams unflaggingly. She always believes in herself and her potential. She has such deep and true friendships, something I count myself lucky to have also, and Betsy never lets things get her down for long before she discovers something beautiful about the world. She certainly never lived in any 'real world.'
And for that matter, I don't think the author, Maud Hart Lovelace, ever really lived in a 'real world,' either. No matter what occurred, Maud could turn it into a lovely story, taking both victories and disasters and turning them into a celebration of life. She seems to have had such a rose-tinted spirit: she saw so much good in the world and in humanity, even as she lived through two World Wars.
Anyone who knows me well can attest to the impact these books have made in my life, and it only seems fitting that I should do them homage. So, welcome once again to my life, now "Abigail and the Great World."
(In other news, I got a Canon Rebel! So excited for photography!)
Monday, July 5, 2010
Does Anybody See What I See?
I see fireworks! I see the pagaent and
Pomp and parade
I hear the bells ringing out
I hear the cannons roar
I see Americans - all Americans
Free forever more
~1776: The Musical
Yesterday was the loveliest Fourth of July in recent memory. As I recall, three years ago Kay made me wear a funny visor :), two years ago I was stuck in NIAHD and it rained through the fireworks so I spent the evening in the dorm, and last year my heart was broken and it hurt so much just to breathe, though I smiled through it with my friends. But yesterday was a wonderful mix of patriotism and All-American foods and that summery feeling you get when it's humid out and your gas tank is full and you can do anything.
The Fourth of July-ness kicked off at Kilwin's Ice Cream with Kacey, where I got a scoop of my favorite "Kilwin's Track" ice cream made with real fudge and peanut butter, and we sat outside in the shade to eat. Then I returned home for to get my camera and Laurel's address, ended up accidentally dozing for a little while (but it was nice), and then went to pick up Zan. We headed over to Laurel's for her Fourth of July BBQ, and I got to see people I didn't even know would be there, like Amy and a few others from Reves. Everyone was so nice, and they had the best ears of corn which felt like something to be eaten on the Fourth, and a red velvet cake. I love get-togethers like that; it reminds me that I do have friends in Williamsburg, and lots of people to have fun with for the next year. We only stayed for about an hour though, because we (well, I) had our hearts set on mini-golf.
It was early evening by this point, and the heat was breaking, so off we drove to Pirate's Cove Mini-Golf Adventure! Awhile back we played the "Blackbeard's Challenge" course, so this time it was "Captain's Adventure." We did much better this time around, and we took pictures! The course was basically empty, too, so we could take our time on each hole and take as many pictures as we wanted. I love mini-golf so much!
After mini-golf, we stopped by farm fresh for hotdogs, mustard, and wavy potato chips, then headed back to Zan's to make dinner. I found St. Elmo's Fire on the magic box, so we settled down to our very-Fourth-of-July dinner with a classic 80's movie. While not exactly a patriotic movie, it feels like summer, I think.
As soon as we had finished eating we hopped in the car to go see the CW Fireworks. We parked in the employee lot, then walked until we were seated between the Courthouse and the Powder Magazine. How can you not feel patriotic watching fireworks between these two buildings, so old and proud and full of history? And the fireworks were better this year than last, I think. And they exploded in the sky so big and bright and Zan held my hand and we quietly hummed The Battle Hymn of the Republic and I felt so happy and even though my bag has an 18th-century English actress on it and is from the RSC where I want to work and live, I am very glad I am American. At the end of the day, I appreciate that my passport will always let me back into this country, and I will never forget how much I missed the USA when I studied abroad.
We drove home with 1776 blaring, singing along to The Lees of Old Virginia and The Egg and feeling just as American as you like, (waiting for the chirp, chirp, chirp of an eaglet being born).
Happy Fourth of July, everyone!
Pomp and parade
I hear the bells ringing out
I hear the cannons roar
I see Americans - all Americans
Free forever more
~1776: The Musical
Yesterday was the loveliest Fourth of July in recent memory. As I recall, three years ago Kay made me wear a funny visor :), two years ago I was stuck in NIAHD and it rained through the fireworks so I spent the evening in the dorm, and last year my heart was broken and it hurt so much just to breathe, though I smiled through it with my friends. But yesterday was a wonderful mix of patriotism and All-American foods and that summery feeling you get when it's humid out and your gas tank is full and you can do anything.
The Fourth of July-ness kicked off at Kilwin's Ice Cream with Kacey, where I got a scoop of my favorite "Kilwin's Track" ice cream made with real fudge and peanut butter, and we sat outside in the shade to eat. Then I returned home for to get my camera and Laurel's address, ended up accidentally dozing for a little while (but it was nice), and then went to pick up Zan. We headed over to Laurel's for her Fourth of July BBQ, and I got to see people I didn't even know would be there, like Amy and a few others from Reves. Everyone was so nice, and they had the best ears of corn which felt like something to be eaten on the Fourth, and a red velvet cake. I love get-togethers like that; it reminds me that I do have friends in Williamsburg, and lots of people to have fun with for the next year. We only stayed for about an hour though, because we (well, I) had our hearts set on mini-golf.
It was early evening by this point, and the heat was breaking, so off we drove to Pirate's Cove Mini-Golf Adventure! Awhile back we played the "Blackbeard's Challenge" course, so this time it was "Captain's Adventure." We did much better this time around, and we took pictures! The course was basically empty, too, so we could take our time on each hole and take as many pictures as we wanted. I love mini-golf so much!
After mini-golf, we stopped by farm fresh for hotdogs, mustard, and wavy potato chips, then headed back to Zan's to make dinner. I found St. Elmo's Fire on the magic box, so we settled down to our very-Fourth-of-July dinner with a classic 80's movie. While not exactly a patriotic movie, it feels like summer, I think.
As soon as we had finished eating we hopped in the car to go see the CW Fireworks. We parked in the employee lot, then walked until we were seated between the Courthouse and the Powder Magazine. How can you not feel patriotic watching fireworks between these two buildings, so old and proud and full of history? And the fireworks were better this year than last, I think. And they exploded in the sky so big and bright and Zan held my hand and we quietly hummed The Battle Hymn of the Republic and I felt so happy and even though my bag has an 18th-century English actress on it and is from the RSC where I want to work and live, I am very glad I am American. At the end of the day, I appreciate that my passport will always let me back into this country, and I will never forget how much I missed the USA when I studied abroad.
We drove home with 1776 blaring, singing along to The Lees of Old Virginia and The Egg and feeling just as American as you like, (waiting for the chirp, chirp, chirp of an eaglet being born).
Happy Fourth of July, everyone!
Friday, July 2, 2010
My favorite passage
Sally, do you sometimes wish your feet would one day keep walking and take you far away from Mango Street, far away and maybe your feet would stop in front of a house, a nice one with flowers and big windows and steps for you to climb up two by two upstairs to where a room is waiting for you. And if you opened the little window latch and gave it a shove, the windows would swing open, all the sky would come in. There'd be no nosy neighbors watching, no motorcyles and cars, no sheets and towels and laundry. Only trees and more trees and plenty of blue sky. And you could laugh, Sally. You could go to sleep and wake up and never have to think who likes and doesn't like you. You could close your eyes and you wouldn't have to worry what people said and nobody could make you sad and nobody would think you're strange because you like to dream and dream. And no one could yell at you if they saw you leaning against a car, leaning against somebody without someone thinking you are bad, without somebody saying it is wrong, without the whole world waiting for you to make a mistake when all you wanted, all you wanted, Sally, was to love and to love and to love and to love, and no one could call that crazy.
From The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros, photo from here.
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