Since the Muppets have always been a major part of my Christmas celebration, I decided to give you, my friends, an early Christmas 'gift.' Below is a paper I wrote when I was fourteen years old and a freshman in high school. For a bit of context, the paper was a handwritten project completed over two class periods-- and could only be written in class. Every freshman had to write on the prompt, "If you could have lunch with one figure-- fictional, historical, or living-- who would it be and why?" We had to give reasons and explain them in order to get a good grade. It's also helpful to know that I attended Jefferson City High School, but since there are so many students the freshman are taught in a building called Simonsen. Also, this was before the Swamp Days movie came out about the origins of a certain frog. None of the spelling or punctuation has been changed. And now, without further ado...
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Simonsen City Tribune:
Frog Leg Lunch
Frog Leg Lunch
Hello Simonsen City readers'. Last week I informed you that I could have dinner with anyone: living, dead, historical, fictional, good, or evil. Thank you for all your suggestions, but I made my own choice.
To begin, I walked tentively into the dimly-lit Sardi's, a famous restaurant in New York and set for Muppets' Take Manhatten, to meet the one I had chosen to interview. I was led to a booth to wait. A few minutes later, an army of Kamakaze butterflies invaded my stomach as I heard a small, unique, unforgettable voice at the podium say, "Kermit the Frog here." I know you must be wondering why I would choose to have dinner with Kermit the Frog when I could have picked from any other figure known to man, nevertheless, I feel confident in my reasoning.
First, I decided to pick someone nearly everyone has heard about. Although nearly everyone has heard of Osama bin Laden, I decided to go for a more gentle approach. I wanted to have dinner with someone lovable. Kermit the Frog was just one among Mickey, Minnie, Elmer Fudd, and others. There was so much to consider!
Secondly, I wanted someone who was sophisticated and gifted in the arts. This cut out Ronald McDonald and the Easter Bunny. Kermit was still in the running. Still, there were so many choices.
Then, I wanted someone with a more closed personal life so I could learn new things about them. I wanted to be able to peel them like a mandarin orange. This eliminated Santa Claus, Mickey Mouse, and Minnie Mouse.
Next, I wanted someone who influenced me in a positive way. This took Elmer Fudd of my list. Kermit the Frog was now at the top of my list. Now I had to figure out how this frog encompassed these high standards.
First I needed to know how Kermit influenced me in a positive way. With all the movies he was the star of in mind, I reached to the far reaches of my brain, past the dustbunnies, then I realized the answer was right in front of my nose. Kermit was where I got my optimistic outlook on life. I rarely saw Kermit's face downcast or depressed. Kermit was the one who came up with radical ideas' that always ended well. As Kermit told of Tiny Tim being buried so he could always watch the ducks on the river in A Muppet Christmas Carol my heart soared to hear Dickens words come out of that frog's mouth in his unique "never-give-up" tone. When Kermit cries (which is hardly ever) I cry, but when Kermit smiles, I smile back. Kermit does have a positive influence on me.
Secondly, I needed to know how Kermit was sophisticated. I knew to answer to that almost immediately. Kermit the Frog was sophisticated because of all the movies' he'd been in. He must have read the novels before getting parts in A Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island. Kermit knew how to solve crimes, take a road trip, and work in a restaurant in Manhatten. All these experiences lead to one very complex frog. This answer took care of the next question. Kermit was gifted in the arts because of all the movies he was in. He was a gifted actor and singer, take his heart-warming song "The Rainbow Connection."
Next, I had to question how much I knew about Kermit's personal life. Just as I suspected, the tabloids did not have reports on Kermit nearly as often as on other celebrities. Consequently, there were plenty of unanswered question about his life. Kermit's relationship with Miss Piggy is common knowledge, but just how deep did it go? Was their love a rainpuddle or a well? Would I have a celebrity engagement to report to my readers'? More importantly I wondered about Kermit's childhood. He obviously had siblings since he has a nephew named Robin. I pondered what their names were. I decided to ask Kermit how he got to be famous. It seemed strange that Kermit's siblings, who must be gigantic, talking frogs, blended into the woodwork.
Finally, I had to question my choice to see if he was in fact lovable. I concluded that he possessed lovable qualities shortly after picturing his avacado-green skin and his friendly, familiar voice. Most of all it was his good nature, the way he stayed with crabby Miss Piggy through it all, and his optimistic outlook on life that made Kermit the perfect dinner date.
To begin, I walked tentively into the dimly-lit Sardi's, a famous restaurant in New York and set for Muppets' Take Manhatten, to meet the one I had chosen to interview. I was led to a booth to wait. A few minutes later, an army of Kamakaze butterflies invaded my stomach as I heard a small, unique, unforgettable voice at the podium say, "Kermit the Frog here." I know you must be wondering why I would choose to have dinner with Kermit the Frog when I could have picked from any other figure known to man, nevertheless, I feel confident in my reasoning.
First, I decided to pick someone nearly everyone has heard about. Although nearly everyone has heard of Osama bin Laden, I decided to go for a more gentle approach. I wanted to have dinner with someone lovable. Kermit the Frog was just one among Mickey, Minnie, Elmer Fudd, and others. There was so much to consider!
Secondly, I wanted someone who was sophisticated and gifted in the arts. This cut out Ronald McDonald and the Easter Bunny. Kermit was still in the running. Still, there were so many choices.
Then, I wanted someone with a more closed personal life so I could learn new things about them. I wanted to be able to peel them like a mandarin orange. This eliminated Santa Claus, Mickey Mouse, and Minnie Mouse.
Next, I wanted someone who influenced me in a positive way. This took Elmer Fudd of my list. Kermit the Frog was now at the top of my list. Now I had to figure out how this frog encompassed these high standards.
First I needed to know how Kermit influenced me in a positive way. With all the movies he was the star of in mind, I reached to the far reaches of my brain, past the dustbunnies, then I realized the answer was right in front of my nose. Kermit was where I got my optimistic outlook on life. I rarely saw Kermit's face downcast or depressed. Kermit was the one who came up with radical ideas' that always ended well. As Kermit told of Tiny Tim being buried so he could always watch the ducks on the river in A Muppet Christmas Carol my heart soared to hear Dickens words come out of that frog's mouth in his unique "never-give-up" tone. When Kermit cries (which is hardly ever) I cry, but when Kermit smiles, I smile back. Kermit does have a positive influence on me.
Secondly, I needed to know how Kermit was sophisticated. I knew to answer to that almost immediately. Kermit the Frog was sophisticated because of all the movies' he'd been in. He must have read the novels before getting parts in A Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island. Kermit knew how to solve crimes, take a road trip, and work in a restaurant in Manhatten. All these experiences lead to one very complex frog. This answer took care of the next question. Kermit was gifted in the arts because of all the movies he was in. He was a gifted actor and singer, take his heart-warming song "The Rainbow Connection."
Next, I had to question how much I knew about Kermit's personal life. Just as I suspected, the tabloids did not have reports on Kermit nearly as often as on other celebrities. Consequently, there were plenty of unanswered question about his life. Kermit's relationship with Miss Piggy is common knowledge, but just how deep did it go? Was their love a rainpuddle or a well? Would I have a celebrity engagement to report to my readers'? More importantly I wondered about Kermit's childhood. He obviously had siblings since he has a nephew named Robin. I pondered what their names were. I decided to ask Kermit how he got to be famous. It seemed strange that Kermit's siblings, who must be gigantic, talking frogs, blended into the woodwork.
Finally, I had to question my choice to see if he was in fact lovable. I concluded that he possessed lovable qualities shortly after picturing his avacado-green skin and his friendly, familiar voice. Most of all it was his good nature, the way he stayed with crabby Miss Piggy through it all, and his optimistic outlook on life that made Kermit the perfect dinner date.
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Merry Christmas everyone!
Merry Christmas everyone!
Love it. =) You clearly have always just been perfectly adorable.
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