You may have noticed that it's September, that the air has gotten cooler and school buses once again populate the roadways in the mornings and afternoons. Backpacks are eagerly sold, and signs in stores proclaim "Back-to-School Sales" and "College Necessities." But, despite the fact that last year I passed first year exams and everything for the next three years of my life seemed planned, I haven't mentioned orientation, or what classes I'll be taking, or how I've stocked up on several new, blank, shiny notebooks and fresh pens. I do love that feeling of blank notebooks and new pens.
I haven't mentioned it because this year I'm not going back to school. I realized this program wasn't leading me in the direction I wanted, and chose to find a new path. If I'm lucky, perhaps next fall I'll be buying those notebooks and pens, sharpening my pencils, picking up textbooks, and looking at new messenger bags-- happily following a desired, more clearly delineated course. But this year, I'm filling out job/school applications and deciding if I should move back east now or wait or not move back east at all unless I get a job/new school there. Or should I go due south? I decided to change my fate, remember? It's scary and uncertain and exciting and wonderful and terrifying. There's so much to decide, and-- deliciously-- so much I can decide. For the first time in my life I have a whole year where I don't know what comes next and it frightens me and thrills me.
Absi, I identify with this so much. I hate uncertainty and not knowing what comes next and I am so in awe of your bravery and following your heart. I am excited for you! When you get to buy those new pens and notebooks again (housed in the cutest new messenger bag), I know it will be in a place where you'll be fulfilled academically. The best part is that each of our lives is a choose your own adventure book because we get to choose! Now come back to DC and visit us:)
ReplyDeleteCome to DC!
ReplyDeleteI still think you should buy new notebooks and pens. There's something so satisfying about them. I steal Brian's sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I am so proud of you! Your future has so many possibilities, and is going to turn out so fantastically.
Oh wow oh wow oh wow!!! Big changes are indeed a-foot!! Yes, I definitely need an email stat! Best of luck on your new adventures. Can't wait to read all about them!
ReplyDeleteI miss your smiling face. Tell me more about other programs you are looking at! We had a back-to-school dinner party @ odai's last night and I was thinking ... it's so weird that Abigail isn't here. =(
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