Tarot

Last night Kay and I decided to do Tarot readings for each other. She has a deck of Tarot cards and a book explaining them, and we found a card lay-out to use. We lit candles in the living room, shuffled the cards, then began. I found mine to be a scarily accurate reading.

For my present I got the Page of Pentacles, which has to do with new beginnings, and my immediate challenge was the Queen of Swords-- how I wish that hadn't been as accurate as it is. My distance past was the Empress, and my recent past the Ace of Cups. The best outcome of these cards was the 3 of Pentacles, dealing with laying a foundation, while my immediate future was the Queen of Cups, beloved. Factors affecting my life was the 9 of Wands, and the external factors were embodied in an upside down Star-- hopelessness. My hopes and fears card was the 10 of Pentacles, dealing with stability and tradition, and my best outcome overall was the Queen of Wands, associated with Leo, which was fitting.

It is so easy for me to become hopeless, to slip effortlessly into a dark depression even on the sunniest of summer days. I do not know what will content me. I have my friends here this weekend, but what after that? I'm working every day, which I think will be helpful to improving my disposition. If my mind has a task I can forget troubles. Sometimes I even like paper-writing for this very reason; I can become absorbed in my studies and happy in them. Granted, the Wren building doesn't offer much mental stimulation, but I love working at Bella and in CW. And soon I have Paris! Kay, Brian, and I watched Ratatouille last night, and it made me even more excited for the escape than I was before. I think everything will turn out alright-- I must believe it-- but the next week feels interminably long, a hard struggle against myself that I must win, and soon. I don't want to repeat last year. I have been incredibly happy this month, and I refuse to sink again into despair.