The Best Fall Break Ever, Ironically

It's Fall Break, and as you may have surmised from my last post, I went to Chicago to see my best friends from high school. From the moment the plane landed, it was as if we had been launched into some television show like "Sex and the City" (not that I really like that particular show, but you'll see what I mean).

I got off the plane in Chicago only to realize that Chicago is cold and I had one zip-up hoodie and one cardigan. They were calling for snow. I met Dana and Emily at the baggage claim and greeted them with "It is f-ing COLD here!" Dana is from Minnesota, so she had very little sympathy. It snowed where she lives this weekend. We grabbed a taxi to the hotel, planning to change, grab a quick (cheap) dinner before heading out to Landmark Bar and Grill, but the taxi ride took an hour and a half due to traffic. I hope the cab driver was listening to our conversation. It was so entertaining, especially the part where we devoured a box of Cheez-its and Dana explained that DayQuill made her feel like a balloon (she probably had swine flu). We finally got to the hotel only to be greeted by Emily's ex, Dave. He seemed nice enough.

We walked into our room and immediately were hit in the face with cigarette smoke. Ew. We decided to tough it out for two nights, until we found a little card that said, "This is a non-smoking establishment. If we smell smoke you will be charged $200 damages." Dana called down to the front desk to ensure that we would not be charged for what we hadn't done. The smoke smell persisted for the duration of our stay, and we found an empty pack of cigarettes in the drawer of a nightstand.

Anyways, we changed clothes, Christina Sid came to pick us up with her bf, and he dropped us off at Landmark Grill. Hilarity ensued there, too. Our conversation involved the words "tickle, tickle, kiss, kiss, CROTCH GRAB" which made the table behind us leave, we think, and Charlotte confusing Bernie Mac with Bernie Maydoff (i.e-- "He was a con like Bernie Mac." "Bernie Mac?" "Yeah, you know." "Do you mean Bernie Maydoff?" "Oh... yeah, what's the difference between them again?"). As we sat drinking cocktails, pinot grigio, and eating lots of wonderful appetizers, I texted Mike S. "I miss you!" to which he responded "Thanks." Thanks? I texted back "What are you up to?" A few minutes later he replied, "I don't think I can do this Abigail." I stared at my phone slightly shocked, but honestly not too surprised or disappointed. A little pissed off, given the timing and circumstances, but not heartbroken by any means. Christina Sid noticed I was sitting dumbly staring at my phone and asked me if I was ok.

"I think I just got broken up with via text message." The overwhelming response was "WHAT?" "WHAT AN ASSHOLE!" "ARE YOU OK???" A few text messages later and it became clear that yes, I had just been broken up with. Dana and Emily ordered shots and requested that the DJ play Beyonce's Single Ladies as soon as they had ascertained that I wasn't falling apart and the night continued. We had the biggest yagerbombs I have EVER SEEN (I didn't take mine), a free dessert, a shooter called Oatmeal Cookie, and tons of laughs. Dave was the bartender, so most of our drinks were free, and he ensured that the DJ played all of our requests including Toto's Africa. Emily opted to go home with him (they went to a 4 AM bar) and Dana, Christina, and I got a ride home with Christina's bf. It was an interesting ride. Very much like something that would happen in a TV show, but we got home safely and nothing had to be reported to the bar ;).

The next morning, Dana and I woke up, waited around for Emily, watched The Truman Show and Facebooked. Emily finally showed back up completely hungover. Of course, Dana and I dragged her to The Rainforest Cafe for lunch. For anyone that doesn't see the humor in this, let me explain in two words: animatronic animals. There are charging elephants, loud gorillas, a perpetual waterfall, and thunder storms in the restaurant. Emily was so hungover she couldn't even eat. THEN there were at least NINE birthdays at the tables around our table, each accompanied by all of the waiters clapping and singing. After our food was delivered our waiter, Tony, asked Emily if she felt ok. "I'm hungover at the Rainforest Cafe" she replied. "I'm hungover and I'm working at the Rainforest Cafe," he rejoined.

Meanwhile, Dana couldn't quit dropping f-bombs even though the place was filled with children under the age of 6, and the camera-guy gave Emily some Attitude. That's right, with a capital "A." I thought she was going to smack him.

After lunch, we went back to the hotel to hang out for the afternoon. We watched YouTube videos and generally had a good time, then went out shopping for a bit, then ordered a pizza to the hotel for dinner. Lovely evening. Our friend Aaron dropped by, which was nice. Just before bed, we realized that the Chicago Marathon was the next day, and Dana and I had to do some quick planning to get to the airport. Luckily, the El train was really close to our hotel, so we managed to get to the airport much more quickly than we managed to get to the hotel on the first day.

Now I'm back home in Williamsburg working on papers and reading for the last two days of Fall Break, but goodness, what an amazing time in Chicago!!! I couldn't ask for better friends or a better weekend.

Which is ironic, considering that I got broken up with via text...