I Know the Reason

Tonight, in Chicago with my best friends, we decided to spend the evening at the hotel with pizza and champagne (though we didn't actually get the champagne, so we ended up having tap water instead). We turned on the TV and began to watch Men in Black. This led to a discussion of alien life forms. We talked about the fact that, mathematically speaking, somewhere in this universe there must be other life forms, but whether or not they are smarter or stupider than us is up for grabs. Christina pointed out that if the life forms had visited Earth, or could even see us, it meant that they had superior technology, since we still have no idea if other life forms actually exist. I pointed out that, as per the premise of the movie, it was quite possible that we could see them. In fact, said I, 'tis possible that we have visited them, but that the government has covered it up. We laughed and then Dana said-- "That's it! That's why Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize!"

So now we know. Obama saved the planet Earth from intergalactic warfare, perhaps total obliteration, but the Nobel committee cannot disclose the fact. He probably negotiated a peace treaty with a hostile planet and has restored peace to the Universe. That's why he hasn't made much progress in other areas, such as the economy, or the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. He spent nearly his entire first year in office saving Earth from aliens, while trying desperately to pretend that he cared about events happening between Earthly nations. That's hard work. Dissembling for a year while saving the planet must have been difficult. So that's how it happened.

Or, you know, maybe not.