The Dress Rehearsal

It was raining, of course, when we landed in Seattle. Already I've sent in my deposit and confirmed my intention to attend in the fall; already I've tied myself to four, five, or six years in this city and before Monday I had never seen it before. Never been in the state of Washington, or even the Pacific Northwest. I'd read a travel book, and looked at maps, and made sure they had Trader Joe's, but never really seen it. I'm not sure what I was expecting-- a city like New York? Wide boulevards like D.C.? Something with quirky streets like London or new high rise apartment buildings everywhere? I'm not sure. What it was was unlike anything I was expecting. We didn't make it downtown-- to the Space Needle and all that-- but rather stayed up in the U District, Wallingford, Green Lake, and Ravenna areas. We certainly didn't play the tourist.

Monday afternoon I was jetlagged and the U District is rather slummy and the only good part of it all was going to a pub called Finn MacCool's and getting a Strongbow. No apartments looked nice and the area felt a touch unsafe, like you wouldn't want to go out alone at night. Tuesday was slightly better, at first. The sun actually came out, and my mom and I walked around campus and it has such pretty buildings and cherry blossoms and we had lunch at an amazing Thai place (I'm quickly become a Thai tea devotee). Then I met the head of my program, Odai. He was nothing like I expected, but incredibly nice. We got coffee and talked about the program, and then he drove me around Seattle to the different neighborhoods and I fell in love with the Green Lake area. But, oddly, for there's no reason I should have felt so, I came away from the day somewhat discouraged-- I felt too young, too inexperienced, and suddenly so unsure of whether or not I was making the right choice to attend this program now.

Wednesday started with the discouraged feeling. My mom and I walked up to the Green Lake and Ravenna area and found some cute looking apartments and houses for rent, and the sun came out. Then at noon I got an e-mail from Odai saying that I could attend at class at 12:30. Feeling rushed, I grabbed my things and tried to find the right building, but got caught in a gaggle of undergrads and all of that discouraged horribleness welled up again and I thought I might cry so I called my friend Mike J. and he said, "Absi, think of this as a dress rehearsal. If everything was going perfectly, opening night would suck." Later, I thought on that-- if everything HAD gone perfectly the first day and a half, if I had loved every second, could actually living there and being in the program compare? Maybe those feelings of self-doubt were just what I needed to keep me from being overly confident before some kind of awful crash and burn when I actually move to the city.

But the class was a turning point. Once I found the building and got to the lecture hall, Odai introduced me to several of the other PhD students, and they were all nicer than I could have ever imagined. The 101 lecture that I will be TAing was interesting, and I was happily surprised to find that I already knew most of the contents. Yes, I can teach these kids about the architectural features of a Greek theater and the story of Oedipus. YES. And how fun! After the lecture came a grad seminar with the current grads, which was interesting, too, and then we all headed out to a wine bar for a glass and some small plates.

That was easily the best part of the whole experience. The three girls who I spent most of the day with were amazing and supportive, funny and interesting, and interested in the same types of things I am-- of course, theater-- but also Star Trek (clearly Zan and I can be happy here), Firefly, England, theory, finding things to get excited about writing. I really could not have even hoped for that level of friendship or support in a grad program-- my masters program, other than a few choice people (our 'cruise director'), felt rather isolating. Here are friends, colleagues, and supports. And, funnily enough, one of the fourth year grads that I met graduated from the same high school as me! He even dated my high school voice teacher's daughter! Crazy!

So, a rocky start to Seattle perhaps, but ultimately I'm so excited to start this program, get into the readings, and to get to know these people better and better. I can't wait to return here to live.