All the Possibility and Promise

I'm a flurry of stories and emotions. Let's start with the end of last week and this weekend, I suppose. I had my first day of my internship on Friday, and it went really well! I took a brief tour of the playhouse, sat in on a bit of rehearsal, and started organizing a huge pile of papers, from Shakespearean Music and Dance to scene studies. Saturday I woke up with a full-blown cold, but I wasn't going to let that stop me! I got up, dressed as a pirate (well, I actually looked like a pirate genie-- rub me on a boat!), breakfasted with Katie, Cass, and Johnny (who made the breakfast), and then we were off to the Virginia Renaissance Faire! It was a really nice day; we had fish and chips for lunch, cider at the tavern, walked around to the different vendors, joked about the Rapture, Cass got to see her friends, and overall we had an absolutely lovely day. The weather wasn't even too hot! Other than the head cold, it was perfect. We even got sushi for dinner! I slept in on Sunday until forever, bought Advil Cold & Sinus, then headed over to Zan's! Zan was in town for his mom's graduation! We had a big party in honor of Lydia, which was really fun, and even had a bonfire and made s'mores. Tons of good food and good company and sitting out on the porch in the evening air. Monday really felt like a continuation of the weekend-- I had my internship in the morning, but got off work at 1:00 and headed out to Zan's. We watched Doctor Who (the episode by Neil Gaiman!) and hung out with Lys and Zach, and had a big dinner all together before John headed back to D.C. Then we ended the evening once more on the porch in the now summer-like air, with Zach playing us music, June bugs flying around, and lightening bugs making the pasture sparkle. It was like a dream.

Today I finished organizing papers, and began hand-sewing work in the costume shop at the ASC. I also finished my umpteenth re-read of Heaven to Betsy, part of the Betsy-Tacy series I love so much. In Heaven to Betsy, Betsy moves from Hill Street to High Street (and is so homesick at first) and starts to cope with a new school, a new group of friends, and new traditions-- and she ends up loving it! It gave me a bit of encouragement for my move(s). Yes, I may be horribly homesick and stressed at first, but look at all the fun to be had! Look at all of the possibilities of life! Lately, I've been feeling very young. Sometimes in a good way: everything is out there! My life is before me and I can choose it all! And sometimes in a bad way: like I'm in an awkward phase, that I'm transitioning from young adulthood to actual adulthood. Sometimes I feel so self-conscious, or like I don't know anything at all, that I'm too stupid and dull to do anything with all of those possibilities before me. That I could change the world, that perhaps I could change the way people see themselves and the world they live in, even in a small way, but that I probably won't with my obtuseness. Sigh.

Fits and starts, and I know it will all work out in the end, and I know that I'm smart and capable deep down, but my, my isn't this summer stressful so far? But fun, too... old friends nearby again, new friends to be made, Ren Faire, and who knew I could be so proficient with hand-sewing?!